Every day we are faced with choices. We can not do it all, all at the same time. Part of the journey of mastery is being intentional about our choices.
Last night, like many nights, I was faced with the decision of whether or not to attend the second degree brown belt class. This is honestly one of the harder classes for me to get to because it is really all about me. I am much better at ensuring that the needs of my family are met before my own.
Life is a new level of crazy around here. We were at the Stollery for the whole morning getting Georgia's leg evaluated. The realtor is coming on Thursday afternoon to take pictures of the house so that it can get on the market this weekend. Chad is leaving for Terrace on Saturday morning to start his new job. I am feeling more than a little overwhelmed to say the least.
I look at this list that is pulling on my mind. I do have a great deal of work to get done before Thursday afternoon. I was tired after sitting in the hospital for much of the day. I was extremely tempted to just stay home. I decided that I needed to sit with these thoughts and decide if they were reasons to stay home or excuses. Funny thing, was that they could be argued to fall into either category. When I couldn't decide if they were truly reasons or just excuses, I decided that I'd put them in the excuse category and get myself to class.
How often do we allow these situations to play out differently. We make a good case to ourselves with our reasons but really are they great reasons or are they excuses with enough of a justifiable reality to do what we would really rather do than to do what is best. We colour our lives in a way that allows us to live with mediocrity. That is not what we signed up for when we agreed to take on a year of mastery.
Now the reality is that yes, I was in class. I struggled physically and mentally through the entire evening. The stress in my life has definitely taken a toll but it felt incredible to go sweat some of it out. Mentally, I really struggled with what should have been a fairly easy drill. It showed me an area where I have been relying on muscle memory instead of pure intent. I found I had questions that I didn't even know were questions when the class started. The end result was that it was definitely worth the effort to go to class last night. If I had let mediocrity reign, it would have been much easier but I would have lost out on those opportunities to learn and grow.
Now I need to get my hustle on.... The house will not get itself ready for those pictures. I will be walking through each and every room looking for signs of clutter and mediocrity. It may not look like kung fu but I will be working to develop that eye for detail in a different facet of my life.
Wednesday, 25 September 2019
Monday, 16 September 2019
Do It Daily
A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules.
- Anthony Trollope
I have a habit of making many things in life feel like they would take Herculean strength to pull off. I also do not believe that I possess such strength.
The most prominent thing that comes to mind is the Black Belt fitness test. I know what the different facets of the test are. I know what the expectation is that must be achieved to pass. I know where my current fitness level is. The gap is significant. I have mentally placed this test in the near impossible Herculean strength and ability category with my attempts to meet them being in the spasmodic category.
The solution is in the first part of this quote. As part of the IHC program, we are given some pretty huge requirements but we are taught immediately how to break them up into daily tasks. Some of these tasks in themselves don't feel small unless you break them down again but really everything can be broken down into small, doable steps. We are taught that we need a structure in place to ensure that these daily tasks are indeed just that - daily. We have heard Sifu Meier's speech about how easy it is, just do the daily tasks and it will happen.
The breakdown in this is in the daily performance. I will admit that I have not built the structure needed at this time to make a reality. Honestly, my life is so fluid from day to day that the only real structure that I feel exists is the times of our kung fu classes. I have not made any practices truly daily. I have not built that consistency into my life. I am reaping the consequences of not building that structure. I lack the belief that this is possible simply because I have not done the simple daily tasks that I agreed to do.
Right now, life looks especially upside down and crazy. The demands of my normal, everyday life feel overwhelming at the best of times, then add on the our current additional crazy of a move and I am struggling. I need to pause and find that structure for both my mental and physical health. I need to take back control of my choices instead of letting the circumstances of each day push and pull me with each reaction. I need to make the small tasks required to make my life better and easier and truly make them daily. I need to start that today.
Thursday, 12 September 2019
Seeking the Void
The void seems to be a concept that is tricky to explain and therefore, tricky to understand.
My limited understanding of the void is that it is the state of truly being present. There is no outside noise from your brain about the past or the future. You are completely aware of where you are and what you are doing in that one particular moment. All that exists is that one particular moment. Intent can remain pure because there is not thought of past or future, just the current moment.
In class on Tuesday, Sifu Hayes was trying to get us to do our forms in the void. He asked us why we look to our instructors while we are doing our forms. For me, it is often a case of seeking validation. I want to learn. I want to improve. I want to know that I am doing things right. As I have progressed, I am finding that by looking to my instructor for validation, I am actually dividing my focus. I should be paying complete attention to what I am doing. If I am doing that, I will feel where things are not quite right and can ask the question. If there is something that is not right that I am unable to feel, I need to trust my instructor to point it out to me.
With all of the brain clutter that I am currently dealing with, I found the reminder to be completely involved in what I am doing something that I needed to hear. I found that as I worked on it during class, slipping completely into my forms became easier each time. It was helpful that the form we were practicing this on was 18 Temple Motions which is the form I chose to master this year. Removing distractions and analytical thought and just working on feeling what I was doing was actually a very freeing exercise.
This is definitely something that I would like to further explore and work on. I am finding my mental chaos draining and distracting in all areas of my life. Being intentional, focused and present will serve me well in every moment of every day. I know this is not something that is easily achieved but it is a worthy pursuit.
Monday, 9 September 2019
Who is Serving Who?
The past few weeks have been filled with big decisions and impending change. Life has felt very chaotic and out of control. There have been some realities that I have been working through mentally and it has required a great deal of deep soul searching.
The first reality is that we are moving to Terrace, BC. When? That I cannot tell you at this time. Chad starts his new job there on October 1st. I need to get the house ready for sale, sold and then we can officially relocate. There are a few moving parts of this process that I can control. Most of it, I cannot... at least not at this time.
The second reality is that my sweet girl has a fractured tibia. She is in a cast until the end of the month and then an air boot. This has been a significant hit to her independence and as such has required me to be there for her virtually constantly to this point. We are working to find ways to make life easier for both of us.
The third reality is that I will not be grading for my black belt this year. In light of the first reality, this has been a major mental struggle. I feel like this is my one and only chance. This has lead to some major soul searching. My first reaction was to simply completely give up. Really, what's the point if I can't get my black belt. Why bother spending anymore time on this if I won't ever be able to grade? These are funny and foreign thoughts to a girl who had never really entertained grading until about a year ago. I also recognized that I made a commitment to the school, to the team and to myself to complete this year of mastery so why bother was no longer an option.
I need to make a choice about who is serving who in my relationship with kung fu.
The reality of where I am today and the training that would be required for me to grade in November, I would need to make myself a full time servant to kung fu. In light of all that is going on in the rest of my life, this is simply not possible. I actually believe that any attempt to do that would result in a very unhealthy balance for myself and my family in this time of change.
We are taught to train in kung fu so that kung fu can serve us in every area of our lives. If I were to simply throw in the towel and quit right now, it is almost like saying that there was no value to this way of thinking. This would be a massive disservice to the years that my instructors have poured into me and the work I have put in up until this point. The lessons have become a part of who I am. It does not turn off like a faucet.
I need to allow kung fu to serve me. I started taking kung fu because I needed the physical outlet and it allowed me to train with some fantastic people. I continued to train for these reasons. The mental stimulation has been a huge draw over the years, particularly through tough times of injury. The reasons for training were always to do with learning the art, not to achieve a specific belt level. Kung fu has invaded every part of my life - my mind, my body and my relationships. The next few months are filled with unknowns and change but one thing that I know for sure is that I have my kung fu training and my kung fu family to help me through this next stage of my journey.
The first reality is that we are moving to Terrace, BC. When? That I cannot tell you at this time. Chad starts his new job there on October 1st. I need to get the house ready for sale, sold and then we can officially relocate. There are a few moving parts of this process that I can control. Most of it, I cannot... at least not at this time.
The second reality is that my sweet girl has a fractured tibia. She is in a cast until the end of the month and then an air boot. This has been a significant hit to her independence and as such has required me to be there for her virtually constantly to this point. We are working to find ways to make life easier for both of us.
The third reality is that I will not be grading for my black belt this year. In light of the first reality, this has been a major mental struggle. I feel like this is my one and only chance. This has lead to some major soul searching. My first reaction was to simply completely give up. Really, what's the point if I can't get my black belt. Why bother spending anymore time on this if I won't ever be able to grade? These are funny and foreign thoughts to a girl who had never really entertained grading until about a year ago. I also recognized that I made a commitment to the school, to the team and to myself to complete this year of mastery so why bother was no longer an option.
I need to make a choice about who is serving who in my relationship with kung fu.
The reality of where I am today and the training that would be required for me to grade in November, I would need to make myself a full time servant to kung fu. In light of all that is going on in the rest of my life, this is simply not possible. I actually believe that any attempt to do that would result in a very unhealthy balance for myself and my family in this time of change.
We are taught to train in kung fu so that kung fu can serve us in every area of our lives. If I were to simply throw in the towel and quit right now, it is almost like saying that there was no value to this way of thinking. This would be a massive disservice to the years that my instructors have poured into me and the work I have put in up until this point. The lessons have become a part of who I am. It does not turn off like a faucet.
I need to allow kung fu to serve me. I started taking kung fu because I needed the physical outlet and it allowed me to train with some fantastic people. I continued to train for these reasons. The mental stimulation has been a huge draw over the years, particularly through tough times of injury. The reasons for training were always to do with learning the art, not to achieve a specific belt level. Kung fu has invaded every part of my life - my mind, my body and my relationships. The next few months are filled with unknowns and change but one thing that I know for sure is that I have my kung fu training and my kung fu family to help me through this next stage of my journey.
Monday, 26 August 2019
Summer Reflections....
Everywhere you look you can see the signs that life is switching gears. The stores have pretty much hidden anything that resembles summer and all that can be found is back to school items. I've even seen the odd winter coat... Although that seems like it is rushing summer away, the reality is that the season is shifting.
I had this mental picture of what summer was going to look like. Camping, lots of time outside, more relaxed pace, time to recharge and collect myself...
That is not how life turned out this summer. Camping was cancelled for work (a little grateful because the weather that week was miserable). Time outside was hindered by our abnormally wet summer. The relaxed pace looked more like time to be a chauffeur driving people here and there and everywhere. I definitely do not feel recharged and collected. Last week I found myself at a place where what I needed most was to cancel everything that was not a must and spend our evenings at home.
I also had a dream that I was nailing my goals for this IHC year. The requirements for black belt grading would have been pretty much all checked off. The only one that I have successfully done is the First Aid Course. I would be well on my way as far as physically preparing for grading day. Well, I was not nearly as active as I planned. I do feel physically better than I did at the beginning of the summer but no great strides have been made forward in this area either. My house would be decluttered and clean. Now I really feel like I have been dreaming. It is nearly impossible to reorder life in your home when you are treating it as a launching pad all summer.
I am working at accepting where I am at right now. My dream and my reality have a serious gap between them. The past is done, all I can work on is the present. Life is about to get even busier with school starting but the introduction of more structure in our home will be helpful.
I had this mental picture of what summer was going to look like. Camping, lots of time outside, more relaxed pace, time to recharge and collect myself...
That is not how life turned out this summer. Camping was cancelled for work (a little grateful because the weather that week was miserable). Time outside was hindered by our abnormally wet summer. The relaxed pace looked more like time to be a chauffeur driving people here and there and everywhere. I definitely do not feel recharged and collected. Last week I found myself at a place where what I needed most was to cancel everything that was not a must and spend our evenings at home.
I also had a dream that I was nailing my goals for this IHC year. The requirements for black belt grading would have been pretty much all checked off. The only one that I have successfully done is the First Aid Course. I would be well on my way as far as physically preparing for grading day. Well, I was not nearly as active as I planned. I do feel physically better than I did at the beginning of the summer but no great strides have been made forward in this area either. My house would be decluttered and clean. Now I really feel like I have been dreaming. It is nearly impossible to reorder life in your home when you are treating it as a launching pad all summer.
I am working at accepting where I am at right now. My dream and my reality have a serious gap between them. The past is done, all I can work on is the present. Life is about to get even busier with school starting but the introduction of more structure in our home will be helpful.
Tuesday, 13 August 2019
Failing Forward....
Correction is essential to power and mastery. You see, we are all ordinary. But a master, rather than condemning himself for his "ordinariness," will embrace his ordinariness and use it as a foundation for building the extraordinary. Instead of giving up, as many ordinary people do, he will use his ordinariness to correct his errors, which is essential in the process of attaining mastery. You must be able to correct yourself without invalidating or condemning yourself, to accept results and improve upon them.
Mastery - Stewart Emery
There has been a strong focus on the technique of our side heel thrust kicks over the past month. Sifu Brinker has made it a mission to eradicate improper foot position within our kicks. As the lead instructor in our school, he has the ability to work with us on this mission but he is unable to complete it on his own. Each and every one of us must also do our part in order for this mission to be successful.
The position of my foot in the blade has been a key focus the past couple weeks. I have developed the habit over the years of having my toes just slightly ahead of my heel when doing a side heel kick. Since on the most part my toes are lower than my heel and my foot is held tight, it has escaped correction. Just because is has escaped correction, does not mean that it was accepted or is correct. Now that it has been found, it must be corrected.
The process of correction is one of complete mindfulness whenever I throw a side heel kick. I have been making use of any mirror that is strategically placed to ensure that to the best of my ability every single kick that I throw going forward has a better foot position. When I go slow and practice mindfully, I am able to achieve the correct position. This is possible! That is encouraging!
What I have found less encouraging is that despite this work, it has not truly become mine yet. On Saturday we were working on speed and power on the bag. Things started to fall apart fairly quickly. If I went slowly, I could get the correct position. If I added speed and focused on the foot position, then I found that the trajectory of my kick was swinging upward and not thrusting. If I stopped focusing as much on the blade and instead focused on the power and trajectory, the toes would sneak back forward again. Then as the minute would move along, fatigue would set in to the point where technique was extremely poor.
How do I proceed forward? The process of mastery is to accept where you are today and to make steps positive steps forward to improve. Emery encourages us to accept our ordinariness and use that as a foundation for correction. There is no room for bad attitude or negative self talk only acceptance and a plan to improve. Using this model, I will continue to use every mirror that I find to ensure that foot position is correct each time I throw the kick. I will increase the number of kicks that I am doing each day to work towards building new muscle memory. I will increase my cardio workouts to help me get over that half way mark when I am working on the bags. I will document my work and constantly evaluate where I am and correct as needed.
Will every kick be perfect? Nope. The only way to absolutely ensure that I will never throw another bad kick as long as I live is to honestly never throw another kick. That is not an option so I will give my best in each moment and at times I will succeed and at times I will fail. I will keep trying and failing and correcting and learning and moving forward. This is the process of mastery.
Mastery - Stewart Emery
There has been a strong focus on the technique of our side heel thrust kicks over the past month. Sifu Brinker has made it a mission to eradicate improper foot position within our kicks. As the lead instructor in our school, he has the ability to work with us on this mission but he is unable to complete it on his own. Each and every one of us must also do our part in order for this mission to be successful.
The position of my foot in the blade has been a key focus the past couple weeks. I have developed the habit over the years of having my toes just slightly ahead of my heel when doing a side heel kick. Since on the most part my toes are lower than my heel and my foot is held tight, it has escaped correction. Just because is has escaped correction, does not mean that it was accepted or is correct. Now that it has been found, it must be corrected.
The process of correction is one of complete mindfulness whenever I throw a side heel kick. I have been making use of any mirror that is strategically placed to ensure that to the best of my ability every single kick that I throw going forward has a better foot position. When I go slow and practice mindfully, I am able to achieve the correct position. This is possible! That is encouraging!
What I have found less encouraging is that despite this work, it has not truly become mine yet. On Saturday we were working on speed and power on the bag. Things started to fall apart fairly quickly. If I went slowly, I could get the correct position. If I added speed and focused on the foot position, then I found that the trajectory of my kick was swinging upward and not thrusting. If I stopped focusing as much on the blade and instead focused on the power and trajectory, the toes would sneak back forward again. Then as the minute would move along, fatigue would set in to the point where technique was extremely poor.
How do I proceed forward? The process of mastery is to accept where you are today and to make steps positive steps forward to improve. Emery encourages us to accept our ordinariness and use that as a foundation for correction. There is no room for bad attitude or negative self talk only acceptance and a plan to improve. Using this model, I will continue to use every mirror that I find to ensure that foot position is correct each time I throw the kick. I will increase the number of kicks that I am doing each day to work towards building new muscle memory. I will increase my cardio workouts to help me get over that half way mark when I am working on the bags. I will document my work and constantly evaluate where I am and correct as needed.
Will every kick be perfect? Nope. The only way to absolutely ensure that I will never throw another bad kick as long as I live is to honestly never throw another kick. That is not an option so I will give my best in each moment and at times I will succeed and at times I will fail. I will keep trying and failing and correcting and learning and moving forward. This is the process of mastery.
Wednesday, 7 August 2019
Thoughts...
Where am I? What am I doing?
I have been trying to use these questions to refocus my thoughts the past week with little success. I have been moving between two differing sets of relatively unproductive thought processes.
The first set of thoughts are focused on regrets. Would have... Could have... Should have... Yes, I am shoulding all over myself. I have had fantastic personal goals the past few IHC years. I have failed to meet them. There is the potential for some major changes coming for our family. I am paying the consequences of that delay and feeling the weight of regret. Oh so many regrets...
The second set of thoughts look more like chaos. The best description that I can come up with is to imagine what 20 little bouncy balls would look like bouncing around inside my head at a million miles an hour. Thoughts are running amok everywhere. All the things that need to be done and they all feel like they need to be done immediately. It is all very overwhelming. It leaves me with days on end where I am furiously trying to get something, anything done but never seem to make any headway because I keep distracting myself and leaving a trail of half done aftermath in my path.
I need to find a way to stay in the present. I need to find a way to settle in and make some significant progress in every area of my life - now!
Where am I? What am I doing?
Tonight I found myself in class completely lost in learning a new application with the tiger tail and working with a partner that I am grateful to have on this journey. Now I am taking care of this week's blog. Next stop is bed so that I can tackle tomorrow one moment at a time.
Monday, 29 July 2019
It's All About the Name
Forms... Patterns...
It is common in martial arts to have a series of movements that are prescribed and learned to practice the art. They have different names depending on what art you are choosing to study. The name of our series of movements in kung fu is form. This is important because it indicates what the focus of the practice is.
When we first are learning our forms, we honestly are focused on the pattern. There is a sequence that we need to learn and commit to memory. Some people find this stage easier than others but none the less, all must go through this stage. It is common in the stage to be more focused on what is coming next, to have long pauses while we remember where we are and where we are headed and simply to forget it all. This stage is honestly only the very start of the journey.
The second step is where we will spend the rest of our lives working - form. By the very nature of the name, the focus is not on the sequence or pattern of movements. The pattern is critical to the practice but it is not the key focus of the practice. The key is to be focusing on mastering the form of each individual moment within that sequence. It is the practice of seeking mastery of each movement and intent within the sequence. It allows a structured way in which to practice these deeper concepts.
It is not enough to say that you know the form. We must move past knowing to mastering. Part of the requirements of the IHC program is to do 1,000 repetitions of two forms throughout the year. There are two ways this can be accomplished. You can take the approach that you must just get it done and just blow through the requirement like it is a hoop to jump through. (Just a hint, this is not the intent behind the requirement at all, not to mention would be incredibly boring.) The second is to focus on the mastery of each moment, intent and movement within the form, practicing and applying an eye for detail. This is can frustrating at times but if this is truly applied, it will not be boring. Out of the struggle and frustration will come growth that can can't be realized through mindless practice. The art of kung fu is so rich with detail that you will never, ever run out of tweaks in the mastery journey.
It is common in martial arts to have a series of movements that are prescribed and learned to practice the art. They have different names depending on what art you are choosing to study. The name of our series of movements in kung fu is form. This is important because it indicates what the focus of the practice is.
When we first are learning our forms, we honestly are focused on the pattern. There is a sequence that we need to learn and commit to memory. Some people find this stage easier than others but none the less, all must go through this stage. It is common in the stage to be more focused on what is coming next, to have long pauses while we remember where we are and where we are headed and simply to forget it all. This stage is honestly only the very start of the journey.
The second step is where we will spend the rest of our lives working - form. By the very nature of the name, the focus is not on the sequence or pattern of movements. The pattern is critical to the practice but it is not the key focus of the practice. The key is to be focusing on mastering the form of each individual moment within that sequence. It is the practice of seeking mastery of each movement and intent within the sequence. It allows a structured way in which to practice these deeper concepts.
It is not enough to say that you know the form. We must move past knowing to mastering. Part of the requirements of the IHC program is to do 1,000 repetitions of two forms throughout the year. There are two ways this can be accomplished. You can take the approach that you must just get it done and just blow through the requirement like it is a hoop to jump through. (Just a hint, this is not the intent behind the requirement at all, not to mention would be incredibly boring.) The second is to focus on the mastery of each moment, intent and movement within the form, practicing and applying an eye for detail. This is can frustrating at times but if this is truly applied, it will not be boring. Out of the struggle and frustration will come growth that can can't be realized through mindless practice. The art of kung fu is so rich with detail that you will never, ever run out of tweaks in the mastery journey.
Wednesday, 10 July 2019
Knowledge and Application
What sets a black belt apart?
The first thing people often think of is the area of knowledge, particularly in the area of kung fu. It is true that there is always more knowledge that can be obtained, but a vast amount of the knowledge you need is shared early on in your training careers. The instructors at Silent River are free and giving of this knowledge. They share concepts with white belts that they may have little hope of truly understanding but the seeds are planted for the future. If you listen in class and ask questions, you cannot help but grow in the area of knowledge.
The area where a black belt shines is in the application of this knowledge. They take the information that they have received and they translate it into how they move their bodies. We can all sit there and recite how to do some of the more basic techniques but can we consistently perform that technique over and over no matter the situation. The example used last night was the side heel kick. This kick is one of the most basic building blocks of our art. We all know how a bladed foot should look. We all know what we should look like in this kick and how our body is to be aligned. We all know that the chamber is critical. By the time you reach black belt, the expectation is that this kick will be thrown properly every single time.
Another area of this applied knowledge is in our applications. As we are learning each technique, we will have a few different intents as we move through the sequence. A black belt's intent is to always be in the present moment and is constantly shifting as the moments unfold. The difference is two or three intents versus a thousand intents in one technique. This can only come through repetition, repetition, repetition..... As this is developing, it is common to see that the intents are clearly broken up. Often the intent to finish the technique is so strong that the intent to block the very first attack is missed or not executed well. This first block is vital because if you don't survive the attack, the rest of the technique is unnecessary.
The final area where this is evident is in the harmonies. A black belt has the internal and external harmonies working together and not fighting each other. There is an unbroken relationship within the harmonies that allows chi to work for you. As we grow in this area, we use our growing eye for detail to analyze how movement feels and then look for the relationship (harmony) that is out of balance. A black belt has the eye for detail to be able to self correct. As we walk our journey towards black belt, this sensitivity is to grow but can only do so if we are consciously focusing on it.
There is a huge difference between a white belt and a black belt. This gap is able to be overcome through consistent and intentional practice. The closer you get to stepping over the line of having earned a black belt, improvements will feel incrementally smaller and smaller but this is where the consistent and intentional practice is even more important.
The first thing people often think of is the area of knowledge, particularly in the area of kung fu. It is true that there is always more knowledge that can be obtained, but a vast amount of the knowledge you need is shared early on in your training careers. The instructors at Silent River are free and giving of this knowledge. They share concepts with white belts that they may have little hope of truly understanding but the seeds are planted for the future. If you listen in class and ask questions, you cannot help but grow in the area of knowledge.
The area where a black belt shines is in the application of this knowledge. They take the information that they have received and they translate it into how they move their bodies. We can all sit there and recite how to do some of the more basic techniques but can we consistently perform that technique over and over no matter the situation. The example used last night was the side heel kick. This kick is one of the most basic building blocks of our art. We all know how a bladed foot should look. We all know what we should look like in this kick and how our body is to be aligned. We all know that the chamber is critical. By the time you reach black belt, the expectation is that this kick will be thrown properly every single time.
Another area of this applied knowledge is in our applications. As we are learning each technique, we will have a few different intents as we move through the sequence. A black belt's intent is to always be in the present moment and is constantly shifting as the moments unfold. The difference is two or three intents versus a thousand intents in one technique. This can only come through repetition, repetition, repetition..... As this is developing, it is common to see that the intents are clearly broken up. Often the intent to finish the technique is so strong that the intent to block the very first attack is missed or not executed well. This first block is vital because if you don't survive the attack, the rest of the technique is unnecessary.
The final area where this is evident is in the harmonies. A black belt has the internal and external harmonies working together and not fighting each other. There is an unbroken relationship within the harmonies that allows chi to work for you. As we grow in this area, we use our growing eye for detail to analyze how movement feels and then look for the relationship (harmony) that is out of balance. A black belt has the eye for detail to be able to self correct. As we walk our journey towards black belt, this sensitivity is to grow but can only do so if we are consciously focusing on it.
There is a huge difference between a white belt and a black belt. This gap is able to be overcome through consistent and intentional practice. The closer you get to stepping over the line of having earned a black belt, improvements will feel incrementally smaller and smaller but this is where the consistent and intentional practice is even more important.
Tuesday, 2 July 2019
Demo Mishap...
Yesterday was Canada Day.
It started out as a beautiful day. I took my morning walk then popped into the bath for a soak. When I got out of the tub the weather had changed drastically...
The clouds seemed to not only bring in some pretty significant showers but also brought in some funk too. I can't really describe how I was feeling except to say that I was just off. Not a great day to feel that way but I pulled myself together and off to the demo we went.
I felt really quite calm going into the demo. I walked out and planned to really snap that first pose. I put a little extra wrist into the snap but instead of snapping my fan into place, I ended up throwing it to the ground with a little extra gusto....
All I could think was what happened?!? What can you do?
I picked up my fan and carried on. It took a couple moves to settle back in but I feel that I finished fairly strong considering the start. I honestly do not believe that the issue was caused by a lack of preparation. We can always be more prepared but this was really one of those weird moments. I have really been struggling with feeling very disappointed in myself.
Everyone did such an amazing job. In many ways, I feel like my mistake was a blemish on such a fantastic demo. Well done team! Thank you for rocking it out and helping take the focus off my mistake.
Saturday, 29 June 2019
Walking Meditation
My mind is a busy and chaotic place. It rarely rests. The mental running list of things that I must do, should do and would like to do seems to be relentless.
After my concussion a few years ago, the neuropsychologist that I was seeing suggested meditation as a way to try to calm my mind. I understand the theory behind it. I have tried it on occasion. To be completely fair, I know that I have not given it enough consistent practice to be of any benefit. That is on me. Why? Well, my failed attempts have been frustrating. My mind wanders all over the place thinking about everything that I should or could be doing all at once. Then guilt sets in for just sitting or lying still. I tell myself that if I just get up and do this one thing, then I can sit back down having dealt with the problem and then I can focus. This is a lie. One thing leads to the next and then it's been literally months since I've tried.
Usually when I walk Guinness, my brain does not stop working either. We chat about everything in life, well I guess I should say that I process everything out loud while he enjoys being outdoors and listening to his person talk endlessly. I go over what I need to do that day, what I did not get done in the past, where I am failing to meet expectations, relentless thoughts. Often I come home feeling tired from all the mental activity. I have done so many things in my mind and then it feels like a let down when I walk back into our yard and everything is in the same state as when I left.
The last three days I have been trying something a little different. We are still heading out on our morning walks but I have chosen to take longer routes. My mind still wants to do all the things but instead I have been trying to keep bringing it back to my four senses (taste is not something I am choosing to use on our treks). Instead of thinking about what I will do after my walk, I am pausing to notice what is going on around me. I am choosing to be.
What have I noticed the past couple days? Here is a few things that I have noticed. I love the sound of the songbirds and the wind in the trees. I do not particularly like the squawk of the magpies and there is a noticeable absence of songbirds when they are carrying on. The sun feels amazing on my face. The smell of fresh cut grass is wonderful. This morning, we walked around the bend in the road and this lovely fragrant smell hit me. I have no idea what it came from but I soaked it in. I have watched the clouds part and blue sky appearing. I have noticed all the different shades of green that make up the leaves on the trees. Someone moved in in the next subdivision and they have a beautiful horse. Guinness is still not sure how he feels about sheep. I noticed a hare that he saw first hiding in the long grass. I really could go on and on.
This change in focus on our morning walk has been energizing. My mind feels clearer. I still have to fight to put my mind back on what is going on around me instead of what is going on inside me but it is becoming a little easier as I do it. The reason that I think this has been more successful than the sitting meditation is that I am out away from my distractions. I am unable to do much about any of them anyway. I often don't even bring my phone with me so I couldn't even make a list as things pop into my mind. Taking in the beauty of creation helps to recenter my mind and reminds me of the fact that I was created a human being, not a human doing.
After my concussion a few years ago, the neuropsychologist that I was seeing suggested meditation as a way to try to calm my mind. I understand the theory behind it. I have tried it on occasion. To be completely fair, I know that I have not given it enough consistent practice to be of any benefit. That is on me. Why? Well, my failed attempts have been frustrating. My mind wanders all over the place thinking about everything that I should or could be doing all at once. Then guilt sets in for just sitting or lying still. I tell myself that if I just get up and do this one thing, then I can sit back down having dealt with the problem and then I can focus. This is a lie. One thing leads to the next and then it's been literally months since I've tried.
Usually when I walk Guinness, my brain does not stop working either. We chat about everything in life, well I guess I should say that I process everything out loud while he enjoys being outdoors and listening to his person talk endlessly. I go over what I need to do that day, what I did not get done in the past, where I am failing to meet expectations, relentless thoughts. Often I come home feeling tired from all the mental activity. I have done so many things in my mind and then it feels like a let down when I walk back into our yard and everything is in the same state as when I left.
The last three days I have been trying something a little different. We are still heading out on our morning walks but I have chosen to take longer routes. My mind still wants to do all the things but instead I have been trying to keep bringing it back to my four senses (taste is not something I am choosing to use on our treks). Instead of thinking about what I will do after my walk, I am pausing to notice what is going on around me. I am choosing to be.
What have I noticed the past couple days? Here is a few things that I have noticed. I love the sound of the songbirds and the wind in the trees. I do not particularly like the squawk of the magpies and there is a noticeable absence of songbirds when they are carrying on. The sun feels amazing on my face. The smell of fresh cut grass is wonderful. This morning, we walked around the bend in the road and this lovely fragrant smell hit me. I have no idea what it came from but I soaked it in. I have watched the clouds part and blue sky appearing. I have noticed all the different shades of green that make up the leaves on the trees. Someone moved in in the next subdivision and they have a beautiful horse. Guinness is still not sure how he feels about sheep. I noticed a hare that he saw first hiding in the long grass. I really could go on and on.
This change in focus on our morning walk has been energizing. My mind feels clearer. I still have to fight to put my mind back on what is going on around me instead of what is going on inside me but it is becoming a little easier as I do it. The reason that I think this has been more successful than the sitting meditation is that I am out away from my distractions. I am unable to do much about any of them anyway. I often don't even bring my phone with me so I couldn't even make a list as things pop into my mind. Taking in the beauty of creation helps to recenter my mind and reminds me of the fact that I was created a human being, not a human doing.
Tuesday, 25 June 2019
Trust the System
Tonight's class was an excellent reminder of where I am and what I need to be doing this year. The IHC program lays out exactly what is expected of anyone who is planning to be a black belt candidate. When you sign up for the program you agree to follow the program. The candidates last year proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the program works if you follow it.
I am finding the process of grading overwhelming. There seems to be so much information that I need to pack into my brain. Then there is all of that information that I need to figure out how to own and then translate into my own movements. We are learning a system and that system will only work if actual sweat is put into it. Then there is the fitness component....
Then I reground myself... I need to listen and trust the system. I need to follow the IHC requirements to the letter - as a bare minimum. We all get tempted to treat the requirements laid out as some unattainable ceiling to try to hit. They are the minimum needed to prepare. Candidates need to be on the mats in classes - minimum 3 times a week. Candidates need to be blogging, processing what we are learning and recording our journey - minimum once a week. Candidates need to be practicing daily. Tonight we were reminded that the journey does not allow for days off - days off have consequences.
I look at the requirements that I said I would meet. I am not on track. That is my current reality. There is no point sugar coating it. The people around me can see that I have not put in the work that I have promised that I would. There have been a few too many of those days off and I am definitely feeling the consequences. I have made commitments and I have not been faithful in meeting them consistently. This needs to change. I need to light a fire under myself and trust the system.
Saturday, 22 June 2019
A Year Well Spent
We all make plans for our lives. Towards the end of 2017, I put forward my plans for the Year of the Dog. Funny thing is how we can plan to the best of our ability but we can't always predict what life will throw into our paths along the way.
Fast forward to the spring 2018... My sweet girl was struggling in school and in life. The momma bear in me sought many ways to help her but by June it was apparent that we needed to bring her home for the next school year. I had considered homeschooling my kids many years ago but had felt like I would not be able to give them what they needed in life. I went into this year somewhat terrified and feeling very ill-equipped for the new challenge I was taking on. My previous year's involved in the IHC program helped me to build the necessary framework to take on the challenge despite how I was feeling.
Mastery asks us to to "constantly produce results beyond the ordinary" and to "consistently go beyond our limits." If I was going to succeed I needed to commit myself to mastery and pursue excellence. Our world no longer looked "normal" by society's standards. I had many people doubting our choice. I definitely felt a great deal of pressure to ensure that the education in our home was anything but mediocre.
I now sit here at the other side of that first year of homeschooling. There were definitely some really hard days. We both had to figure out what learning home could look like and that we didn't need to make it look anything like "school". I read any book on homeschooling that I could find. I invested fully into learning how to do this new life and then I invested even more fully into walking alongside her in her learning. We wrestled through math together. Read great books together. Discovered history together. Watched documentaries and went on great field trips together. We learned to redefine what learning looks like together. We had an incredible year. Sitting here at the end of it, I view this past year as an incredible gift, not only to her but to me as well.
Some of the highlight reels are:
Fast forward to the spring 2018... My sweet girl was struggling in school and in life. The momma bear in me sought many ways to help her but by June it was apparent that we needed to bring her home for the next school year. I had considered homeschooling my kids many years ago but had felt like I would not be able to give them what they needed in life. I went into this year somewhat terrified and feeling very ill-equipped for the new challenge I was taking on. My previous year's involved in the IHC program helped me to build the necessary framework to take on the challenge despite how I was feeling.
Mastery asks us to to "constantly produce results beyond the ordinary" and to "consistently go beyond our limits." If I was going to succeed I needed to commit myself to mastery and pursue excellence. Our world no longer looked "normal" by society's standards. I had many people doubting our choice. I definitely felt a great deal of pressure to ensure that the education in our home was anything but mediocre.
I now sit here at the other side of that first year of homeschooling. There were definitely some really hard days. We both had to figure out what learning home could look like and that we didn't need to make it look anything like "school". I read any book on homeschooling that I could find. I invested fully into learning how to do this new life and then I invested even more fully into walking alongside her in her learning. We wrestled through math together. Read great books together. Discovered history together. Watched documentaries and went on great field trips together. We learned to redefine what learning looks like together. We had an incredible year. Sitting here at the end of it, I view this past year as an incredible gift, not only to her but to me as well.
Some of the highlight reels are:
- My girl loves to learn!
- We swam with a dolphin and snorkeled through a coral reef with rays and so many different kinds of fish and could call it science!
- She discovered that she not only could understand math but she can excel at it!
- She has developed a deep love for books!
- World history is super cool!
- Her mental health is the best that I have seen it in years!
Mastery is a relentless pursuit. It requires us to keep on learning, to keep on growing, to keep on applying lessons learned. We are now back in the summer planning season for next year. I am back to learning on how to best live out this lifestyle that we have chosen to continue for another school year. We have talked about what went well and where we both feel that we can make improvements. Her love of learning has made us some pretty steep goals to work towards for this next year but we are both up to the challenge of this journey that we are on together.
Friday, 14 June 2019
Why?
This week we were asked an important question.
Why do we continue to train in the martial arts?
The answer is different for each person and often from moment to moment.
For me, the first answer that came to my mind was because I love the mental challenge. I love to learn new things. The martial arts provides me with an opportunity to continually challenge myself - how I think, how I move, how I live...
Often there are other secondary reasons why, but usually it all boils back to this one reason. There obviously is the physical aspect because I definitely need to get into better shape. There is the emotional aspect because the people at the kwoon have become family. But these reasons can all be filled outside the martial arts.
The martial arts feeds a part of who I am as a person and constantly demands more of me than I can give at any moment but inspires me to keep pressing forward.
Monday, 3 June 2019
June - Farmer's Day & Time to Get a Move On
Did anyone else wake up Saturday morning to the crazy realization that it is JUNE!!!! Where is the time going? We are well into this IHC year. The turning of the calendar always prompts me to take a closer look at the state of my world.
First let's start with the good! Farmer's Day!!! The parade was a ton of fun. Thank you to the early morning crew that put the float together - it looked fantastic! If I am to be honest, I am not a huge fan of walking in the parade. I find it very much a sensory overload. But I do love the time that we spend as a team before and after the parade. It is such a great time to get together and spend some time laughing and getting to know each other on a more personal level.
Demo #1 is out of the way! I always find the first one of the year the hardest. At the last IHC class when it was time to perform our most current form, I was really struggling with my nerves. I usually have a pretty good memory but that night I kept forgetting my form. I carried that fear and concern into this weekend's demo. I was really worried that I was going to forget my form or drop my fan - basically just freeze out there. I was pleasantly surprised about how well it all went. It was also fun to watch my favourite son get to do his first solo lion dance as a head.
As for my current mental state - I am honestly doing much better this past week. I am not sure what exactly has changed but I am going to embrace feeling more human and far less overwhelmed and weepy. I am still doing a great deal of self care but I am finding that I am able to take a more proactive approach than just being reactive.
That's the good stuff.... Now for all the rest of the list....
I am not where I would like to be considering this is supposed to be my grading year. Numbers are really behind. Written assignments have not happened. Board breaks and 5 techniques have not been touched. Time is ticking and I do not want it to get any further away on me than it currently has. Step #1 has happened. I have acknowledged where I am at.
Now for Step #2. To put the negative feelings about where I am at behind me and to just light a fire under myself and get about doing the next right thing. I can't go back in time. All the wishing it looked different will not change where I am right this moment. All I can control is where I am headed next.
First let's start with the good! Farmer's Day!!! The parade was a ton of fun. Thank you to the early morning crew that put the float together - it looked fantastic! If I am to be honest, I am not a huge fan of walking in the parade. I find it very much a sensory overload. But I do love the time that we spend as a team before and after the parade. It is such a great time to get together and spend some time laughing and getting to know each other on a more personal level.
Demo #1 is out of the way! I always find the first one of the year the hardest. At the last IHC class when it was time to perform our most current form, I was really struggling with my nerves. I usually have a pretty good memory but that night I kept forgetting my form. I carried that fear and concern into this weekend's demo. I was really worried that I was going to forget my form or drop my fan - basically just freeze out there. I was pleasantly surprised about how well it all went. It was also fun to watch my favourite son get to do his first solo lion dance as a head.
As for my current mental state - I am honestly doing much better this past week. I am not sure what exactly has changed but I am going to embrace feeling more human and far less overwhelmed and weepy. I am still doing a great deal of self care but I am finding that I am able to take a more proactive approach than just being reactive.
That's the good stuff.... Now for all the rest of the list....
I am not where I would like to be considering this is supposed to be my grading year. Numbers are really behind. Written assignments have not happened. Board breaks and 5 techniques have not been touched. Time is ticking and I do not want it to get any further away on me than it currently has. Step #1 has happened. I have acknowledged where I am at.
Now for Step #2. To put the negative feelings about where I am at behind me and to just light a fire under myself and get about doing the next right thing. I can't go back in time. All the wishing it looked different will not change where I am right this moment. All I can control is where I am headed next.
Wednesday, 29 May 2019
Intentional vs Busy
It is one of the most commonly used words people use to describe life today - busy...
Busy is defined as having a great deal to do or to keep occupied.
We all have a great deal to do. We all wear many hats. We are all good at keeping ourselves occupied. We are all busy.
But are we all being intentional?
Intentional is defined as being deliberate or done on purpose.
There is a huge difference between living a busy life and living with intentional. Intent has been a key focus in classes lately. We are asked to focus ourselves in a particular direction - to do the techniques with purpose. This is a lesson that I am continually trying to pull into the rest of my life.
It is easy to be busy. I wear many hats. I can keep myself moving along at quite a pace and stay busy all day long. Some days I looked back and I can see all sorts of progress and accomplishment. Then there are the other days where I can't really remember what I have done and I have left a trail of half done life. My squirrel brain far too often defaults to this type of living. I can relate to the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff. If you haven't read this delightful picture book - just google it, there are tons of YouTube videos reading it out. It truly describes many days in my life and I know that I am not alone. Each moment is a distraction from the last moment. It is easy to be busy doing stuff but is it the right stuff?
I have been working hard to shift from busy to intentional in how I live. Keeping my eyes not only on where I am but where I want to be. I keep asking myself the questions - Where am I? What am I doing?
I make myself short lists to keep myself accountable and to give myself a focus to draw back to. I listened to a podcast yesterday that spoke specifically about this. She recommended keeping your to do list really short and really doable because when you write it down on your to do list for today, it becomes a promise to yourself that you are going to get it done. When we don't complete what is on our lists, we are breaking promises to ourselves. Unfortunately, this is a bad habit that I have personally formed. I will bend over backwards to keep my word to others but I break commitments I make to myself all the time. Shorter lists will mean less broken promises.
I set a very specific intention for this year. My intent was to be on the mats on grading day. In order to make this a reality, I need to start living intentionally today and each and every day between now and that date. The struggle has been this is not the only area of life where I need to live with great intention. This means constant evaluation of all my hats and honestly does not allow for any random busyness. Every single moment must be focused on doing the next right thing on one area or another of my life. If I truly live with great intent focusing where I must, I will see results that I can look back on and feel good about. For today, that looks like writing this blog, cleaning my bathrooms, finishing a book club book and doing some math with my girl, working on the bookkeeping of a specific client and of course doing my requirements for the IHC. Nothing truly huge or glamorous but all very necessary to the life that is important to me. Once these are done, then I can look around and figure out what the next right steps for the remainder of my day are. Keeping my focus in each moment, breathing deeply at times and making that next right step.
Busy is defined as having a great deal to do or to keep occupied.
We all have a great deal to do. We all wear many hats. We are all good at keeping ourselves occupied. We are all busy.
But are we all being intentional?
Intentional is defined as being deliberate or done on purpose.
There is a huge difference between living a busy life and living with intentional. Intent has been a key focus in classes lately. We are asked to focus ourselves in a particular direction - to do the techniques with purpose. This is a lesson that I am continually trying to pull into the rest of my life.
It is easy to be busy. I wear many hats. I can keep myself moving along at quite a pace and stay busy all day long. Some days I looked back and I can see all sorts of progress and accomplishment. Then there are the other days where I can't really remember what I have done and I have left a trail of half done life. My squirrel brain far too often defaults to this type of living. I can relate to the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff. If you haven't read this delightful picture book - just google it, there are tons of YouTube videos reading it out. It truly describes many days in my life and I know that I am not alone. Each moment is a distraction from the last moment. It is easy to be busy doing stuff but is it the right stuff?
I have been working hard to shift from busy to intentional in how I live. Keeping my eyes not only on where I am but where I want to be. I keep asking myself the questions - Where am I? What am I doing?
I make myself short lists to keep myself accountable and to give myself a focus to draw back to. I listened to a podcast yesterday that spoke specifically about this. She recommended keeping your to do list really short and really doable because when you write it down on your to do list for today, it becomes a promise to yourself that you are going to get it done. When we don't complete what is on our lists, we are breaking promises to ourselves. Unfortunately, this is a bad habit that I have personally formed. I will bend over backwards to keep my word to others but I break commitments I make to myself all the time. Shorter lists will mean less broken promises.
I set a very specific intention for this year. My intent was to be on the mats on grading day. In order to make this a reality, I need to start living intentionally today and each and every day between now and that date. The struggle has been this is not the only area of life where I need to live with great intention. This means constant evaluation of all my hats and honestly does not allow for any random busyness. Every single moment must be focused on doing the next right thing on one area or another of my life. If I truly live with great intent focusing where I must, I will see results that I can look back on and feel good about. For today, that looks like writing this blog, cleaning my bathrooms, finishing a book club book and doing some math with my girl, working on the bookkeeping of a specific client and of course doing my requirements for the IHC. Nothing truly huge or glamorous but all very necessary to the life that is important to me. Once these are done, then I can look around and figure out what the next right steps for the remainder of my day are. Keeping my focus in each moment, breathing deeply at times and making that next right step.
Monday, 20 May 2019
Still Here but Still Struggling....
It has been a month since my last blog. I was struggling mentally but chose to just do the next right thing even though I really didn't feel like I had much to share. The hope was that as I continued to make those next right steps that things would start to improve. That was not the case....
The week following that blog was mentally one of my hardest. There just seems to be things coming from every direction and I have been mentally and emotionally very limited in my ability to cope with all of it with much grace. The result was that I had to pull way back. When you fly they always tell people to put on their own oxygen masks before they assist others. As a momma and someone who cares very deeply about others, I find this hard but it has become very necessary.
What does this look like? Sometimes it has meant making it to kung fu classes. Sometimes it looks like not being able to step into the kwoon because I feel unable to handle the noise and busyness of the environment. Many days it has looked like having an afternoon nap, heading to bed early and therapy sessions with my pup. Somedays I laugh, many I cry. I have tried to not have my struggles affect the people around me, especially my family, but I know that I am failing at that.
Where does this place me on my journey this year? Well definitely not where I planned to be! Thankfully I have learned that you can set goals for your year but you rarely end up exactly where you planned irregardless of whether you are on track or not. I am not on track but I do make progress most days. I have not given up. I have been avoiding journalling and blogging because I do not particularly like to record the yuck but I know that this is a tool I need to start using in order to start managing my own head space. Will I be grading this year? This door has not been closed but I have not been able to make it a focus either. I will use the tools given to me to deal with the mental issues while also working through the physical symptoms that have started to pop up as a result. I will just have to see where this journey leads me...
In the meantime, I am off to the lab.... And perhaps some garden therapy....
The week following that blog was mentally one of my hardest. There just seems to be things coming from every direction and I have been mentally and emotionally very limited in my ability to cope with all of it with much grace. The result was that I had to pull way back. When you fly they always tell people to put on their own oxygen masks before they assist others. As a momma and someone who cares very deeply about others, I find this hard but it has become very necessary.
What does this look like? Sometimes it has meant making it to kung fu classes. Sometimes it looks like not being able to step into the kwoon because I feel unable to handle the noise and busyness of the environment. Many days it has looked like having an afternoon nap, heading to bed early and therapy sessions with my pup. Somedays I laugh, many I cry. I have tried to not have my struggles affect the people around me, especially my family, but I know that I am failing at that.
Where does this place me on my journey this year? Well definitely not where I planned to be! Thankfully I have learned that you can set goals for your year but you rarely end up exactly where you planned irregardless of whether you are on track or not. I am not on track but I do make progress most days. I have not given up. I have been avoiding journalling and blogging because I do not particularly like to record the yuck but I know that this is a tool I need to start using in order to start managing my own head space. Will I be grading this year? This door has not been closed but I have not been able to make it a focus either. I will use the tools given to me to deal with the mental issues while also working through the physical symptoms that have started to pop up as a result. I will just have to see where this journey leads me...
In the meantime, I am off to the lab.... And perhaps some garden therapy....
Monday, 22 April 2019
Taking Little Steps
I did not blog last week. Why? I could give you a bunch of lousy excuses trying to make it all sound better but the honest truth is - I did not want to blog last week. I am really struggling mentally the past few weeks. It was not a case of I have nothing to write. It was a case of having nothing that I wanted to share.
So since I am now blogging, does this mean that I have straightened out the mental funk and mess from the past few weeks? Nope, unfortunately I don't think I've made much progress there.
Then why am I blogging? This is one of the million baby steps I promised that I would take this year.
Where am I? Right now I honestly can't focus on the big picture. When I look at the big picture I get too overwhelmed to even move or think.
What am I doing? All I can do right now is the next little step. I am trying to use the tools that I have been given. So far this morning it has looked like a long walk with my fur friend and this blog.
Today I will do what I can and tomorrow I will repeat that.
So since I am now blogging, does this mean that I have straightened out the mental funk and mess from the past few weeks? Nope, unfortunately I don't think I've made much progress there.
Then why am I blogging? This is one of the million baby steps I promised that I would take this year.
Where am I? Right now I honestly can't focus on the big picture. When I look at the big picture I get too overwhelmed to even move or think.
What am I doing? All I can do right now is the next little step. I am trying to use the tools that I have been given. So far this morning it has looked like a long walk with my fur friend and this blog.
Today I will do what I can and tomorrow I will repeat that.
Sunday, 7 April 2019
My Heart is Full...
This weekend has been a whirlwind of wonderful!
Yesterday my sweet baby girl became a teenager! What!?! How did that happen? This weekend was filled with celebrating her - a birthday dinner out as a family on Friday, a special breakfast and birthday apple crisp on Saturday and a huge shopping trip today to start updating her bedroom.
If that was not enough to fill the weekend, a sweet friend said "I do!" on Saturday as well. I have to say this was one of the most powerful and beautiful weddings that I have ever been blessed to attend. The heart of this couple for each other and the people they love shone bright this weekend. This included an amazing moment where the bride took the time to single out my girl and give her some roses out of her bouquet, a birthday card and a present right in the middle of her own reception. This selfless act left a huge mark on the people who witnessed it especially Georgia, yet was completely in character for this exceptional young lady.
I would love to say that the I will be stepping out of the whirlwind and settling into the week but I took a peek at my calendar and this week is going to be a hopping one. My partner in crime has fled town for work and will be gone most of April so I am flying solo in the chaos. Needless to say, I am ready for bed but I will fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.
Yesterday my sweet baby girl became a teenager! What!?! How did that happen? This weekend was filled with celebrating her - a birthday dinner out as a family on Friday, a special breakfast and birthday apple crisp on Saturday and a huge shopping trip today to start updating her bedroom.
If that was not enough to fill the weekend, a sweet friend said "I do!" on Saturday as well. I have to say this was one of the most powerful and beautiful weddings that I have ever been blessed to attend. The heart of this couple for each other and the people they love shone bright this weekend. This included an amazing moment where the bride took the time to single out my girl and give her some roses out of her bouquet, a birthday card and a present right in the middle of her own reception. This selfless act left a huge mark on the people who witnessed it especially Georgia, yet was completely in character for this exceptional young lady.
I would love to say that the I will be stepping out of the whirlwind and settling into the week but I took a peek at my calendar and this week is going to be a hopping one. My partner in crime has fled town for work and will be gone most of April so I am flying solo in the chaos. Needless to say, I am ready for bed but I will fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.
Sunday, 31 March 2019
Ouch! And not the good kind....
This week started out awesome! The new routine with the gym membership was working out fantastic. My requirements were being done daily. I was looking forward to totaling up everything at the end of the week and basking in the sheer awesomeness! That is until it stopped being so awesome.
One of my personal requirements this year is to go for a monthly massage. The purpose behind this requirement was first to take care of my body and to keep it running as best I can while abusing it preparing for grading day. I finally went for my first one this week. If you want a seriously good torture session - I have found the girl for you!
The first night I felt pretty good. The second day I had many very tender spots but overall was feeling pretty great. Then Thursday this nagging pain started on my left side of my tush. By Friday there was no doubt in my mind that my sciatic nerve has a rather significant beef with the poking and prodding it received. I walked and stretched and used the foam roller and by Saturday morning was actually feeling much better. I did a lame attempt at the Advanced Combatives Class and chose to not push through open training. It appear that I may have done too much yesterday anyways because it is really cranky again today.
I am grateful that the week started off strong. It helps a little to make up for the not so fantastic finish. I will get this pain in my tush figured out as quickly as possible and will do as much as I can in the meantime hopefully without aggravating it further. It appears that my aging body is just like my kung fu, sometimes things need to get broken before they can be fixed...
One of my personal requirements this year is to go for a monthly massage. The purpose behind this requirement was first to take care of my body and to keep it running as best I can while abusing it preparing for grading day. I finally went for my first one this week. If you want a seriously good torture session - I have found the girl for you!
The first night I felt pretty good. The second day I had many very tender spots but overall was feeling pretty great. Then Thursday this nagging pain started on my left side of my tush. By Friday there was no doubt in my mind that my sciatic nerve has a rather significant beef with the poking and prodding it received. I walked and stretched and used the foam roller and by Saturday morning was actually feeling much better. I did a lame attempt at the Advanced Combatives Class and chose to not push through open training. It appear that I may have done too much yesterday anyways because it is really cranky again today.
I am grateful that the week started off strong. It helps a little to make up for the not so fantastic finish. I will get this pain in my tush figured out as quickly as possible and will do as much as I can in the meantime hopefully without aggravating it further. It appears that my aging body is just like my kung fu, sometimes things need to get broken before they can be fixed...
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