I have been trying to use these questions to refocus my thoughts the past week with little success. I have been moving between two differing sets of relatively unproductive thought processes.
The first set of thoughts are focused on regrets. Would have... Could have... Should have... Yes, I am shoulding all over myself. I have had fantastic personal goals the past few IHC years. I have failed to meet them. There is the potential for some major changes coming for our family. I am paying the consequences of that delay and feeling the weight of regret. Oh so many regrets...
The second set of thoughts look more like chaos. The best description that I can come up with is to imagine what 20 little bouncy balls would look like bouncing around inside my head at a million miles an hour. Thoughts are running amok everywhere. All the things that need to be done and they all feel like they need to be done immediately. It is all very overwhelming. It leaves me with days on end where I am furiously trying to get something, anything done but never seem to make any headway because I keep distracting myself and leaving a trail of half done aftermath in my path.
I need to find a way to stay in the present. I need to find a way to settle in and make some significant progress in every area of my life - now!
Where am I? What am I doing?
Tonight I found myself in class completely lost in learning a new application with the tiger tail and working with a partner that I am grateful to have on this journey. Now I am taking care of this week's blog. Next stop is bed so that I can tackle tomorrow one moment at a time.
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