June - Farmer's Day & Time to Get a Move On

Did anyone else wake up Saturday morning to the crazy realization that it is JUNE!!!!  Where is the time going? We are well into this IHC year.  The turning of the calendar always prompts me to take a closer look at the state of my world. 

First let's start with the good!  Farmer's Day!!!  The parade was a ton of fun.  Thank you to the early morning crew that put the float together - it looked fantastic!  If I am to be honest, I am not a huge fan of walking in the parade.  I find it very much a sensory overload.  But I do love the time that we spend as a team before and after the parade.  It is such a great time to get together and spend some time laughing and getting to know each other on a more personal level.

Demo #1 is out of the way!  I always find the first one of the year the hardest.  At the last IHC class when it was time to perform our most current form, I was really struggling with my nerves.  I usually have a pretty good memory but that night I kept forgetting my form.  I carried that fear and concern into this weekend's demo.  I was really worried that I was going to forget my form or drop my fan - basically just freeze out there.  I was pleasantly surprised about how well it all went.  It was also fun to watch my favourite son get to do his first solo lion dance as a head. 

As for my current mental state - I am honestly doing much better this past week.  I am not sure what exactly has changed but I am going to embrace feeling more human and far less overwhelmed and weepy.  I am still doing a great deal of self care but I am finding that I am able to take a more proactive approach than just being reactive.

That's the good stuff....  Now for all the rest of the list....

I am not where I would like to be considering this is supposed to be my grading year.  Numbers are really behind.  Written assignments have not happened.  Board breaks and 5 techniques have not been touched.  Time is ticking and I do not want it to get any further away on me than it currently has.  Step #1 has happened.  I have acknowledged where I am at.

Now for Step #2.  To put the negative feelings about where I am at behind me and to just light a fire under myself and get about doing the next right thing.  I can't go back in time.  All the wishing it looked different will not change where I am right this moment.  All I can control is where I am headed next.