I've been doing a great deal of reflection around the process of mastery and what it means in my life this week. It all started with a podcast that I was listening to last week while driving around. I've developed the habit of turning one on when I'm in the car, especially if I am alone but even sometimes I subject my kids to them... I can't tell you where I was driving or even the name of the podcast but I distinctly remember some of the statements that were made about mastery.
A good place to start on any journey is a definition. Definitions like comprehensive knowledge or skill in a subject were what the internet was giving me. At first that definition felt a little less than inspiring until then I used the great google machine to look up comprehensive. The definition of comprehensive is complete. Then I tried to apply that definition to the mastery of life. Yup, that would be why we focus on the process and not the destination because I honestly don't believe we can ever have complete knowledge or understanding of anything. So here we are on a journey towards an unreachable destination.
Then enter the thoughts from the podcast... They were discussing how everyone says that they want to live a life of mastery and many start out on the journey but few continue down the path. Based on my experience with the I Ho Chuan, that seems to represent what I see time and time again. We all start the year super excited and then many fizzle. This is in a group of people who believe they want mastery so badly that they were willing to sign up to do some pretty crazy requirements and pay money to do them. This is in a group that has tremendous support networks built into it. The podcast described the actual journey of mastery in several very unattractive terms such as boring, tedious, monotonous... Not very attractive for sure but really very accurate.
In a society that is filled with shiny opportunities, it is hard to do the hard work of mastery. The shiny is always ready to pull us away from the hard work mastery requires. The thought of mastery may be shiny which is why many are attracted to the concept BUT it is in the day to day that progress is made. It is in dropping to do those push ups and sit ups. It is in doing the form reps. It is in writing down each and every number. It is in this daily steps that many people get lost and fall off.
So how do we keep on the path? How do we fight the shiny that society throws our way? For me, the most valuable tools have been tracking my numbers and reflecting on my journey both in my personal journal and in my weekly public journal. By no means has my journey been characterized by consistency - currently my numbers are not even close to where they need to be. BUT I keep picking myself back up and putting myself back on the path.
For those of you who are nailing your journey this year - keep up the great work! You inspire us!
For those of you who are struggling right now - reach out, dust yourself off and start again. Pick just one requirement and go do it now (and then record it somewhere). Together we can keep heading in the right direction.
Monday, 17 April 2017
Monday, 10 April 2017
Small Tweak, Huge Benefit
One of my personal requirements since I started this journey years ago was to keep a daily personal reflection and prayer journal. It was to be my daily check in with myself. A time to look at my successes, to look at where I am falling short and to make a plan for correction. Keeping a daily eye on where you are and where you want to be helps to keep life a little more on course. Even when it is off course, you know exactly where the issue is. No hiding....
I have found over the past year or so that a pattern has developed in my daily journals. One of my character attributes is that I set very high standards for myself. This is a benefit in the sense that it I am always wanting to grow and learn to improve myself. There is a not so awesome side to this too though. I am not always realistic when setting expectations for myself. Really, why can't I do it all, perfectly, right now... As I reflect back looking at my journals, there is a great deal of negativity. I wake up ready to face the day. I make a list of things to get done that no mere mortal can accomplish. I obviously do not even make a small dent in it. Then I journal about how I failed again. Not a great way to close a day. Not great thoughts to be filling my mind with as I drift off to sleep. Then I would get tired of the cycle so I would take a break from journaling. Then I would get upset with myself for that as well. Negative, negative, negative....
This last week I've been experimenting with journaling in the morning instead. I have to say - I am loving it!!! Mornings are so filled with hope and promise. This gives me a place and space to work through my thoughts when they are in a positive light. This allows me to look at my day very proactively. I am working through my tendencies to over plan and over expect. I am working through how to be more realistic with myself and then be kinder to myself. I am working through the managing my emotions during the stresses of life (especially the stresses I place upon myself trying to be perfect). This is allowing me to set a positive intention for my day and gives me a place to go back and really look at it. If I want to sit and journal again at night, the option is still there. I am finding though, that the lens that I use to look at my day is a little less clouded with negativity when I look at it after a good nights sleep.
Just a small tweak but over the last week, I have seen huge benefits already.
I have found over the past year or so that a pattern has developed in my daily journals. One of my character attributes is that I set very high standards for myself. This is a benefit in the sense that it I am always wanting to grow and learn to improve myself. There is a not so awesome side to this too though. I am not always realistic when setting expectations for myself. Really, why can't I do it all, perfectly, right now... As I reflect back looking at my journals, there is a great deal of negativity. I wake up ready to face the day. I make a list of things to get done that no mere mortal can accomplish. I obviously do not even make a small dent in it. Then I journal about how I failed again. Not a great way to close a day. Not great thoughts to be filling my mind with as I drift off to sleep. Then I would get tired of the cycle so I would take a break from journaling. Then I would get upset with myself for that as well. Negative, negative, negative....
This last week I've been experimenting with journaling in the morning instead. I have to say - I am loving it!!! Mornings are so filled with hope and promise. This gives me a place and space to work through my thoughts when they are in a positive light. This allows me to look at my day very proactively. I am working through my tendencies to over plan and over expect. I am working through how to be more realistic with myself and then be kinder to myself. I am working through the managing my emotions during the stresses of life (especially the stresses I place upon myself trying to be perfect). This is allowing me to set a positive intention for my day and gives me a place to go back and really look at it. If I want to sit and journal again at night, the option is still there. I am finding though, that the lens that I use to look at my day is a little less clouded with negativity when I look at it after a good nights sleep.
Just a small tweak but over the last week, I have seen huge benefits already.
Tuesday, 4 April 2017
A Battle Cry!
The possibility of mediocrity exists for everyone, because being mediocre simply means choosing- whether consciously or unconsciously- to be the same as you've always been. Mediocrity has nothing to do with how you compare to other people; it's simply a result of not making a commitment to continuously learn, grow, and improve yourself. Whereas being extraordinary- which leads to extraordinary levels of success- is a result of choosing to learn, grow, and be just a little bit better each day than you've been in the past. - Hal Elrod in The Miracle Morning
I'm not going to lie. The past few weeks have been really tough for me. Physically, I have not felt this good in probably close to 15 years. Mentally, though, I've been a hot mess. In my mental messiness, many of my requirements have taken quite a beating. Then, I was beating myself up about that, which only leads to more mess. On and on this cycle goes... I know that many of my fellow teammates have also fallen into this cycle at some point in the past or are even struggling with it now.
One of my requirements that I have been able to stay on top of though is reading. The Miracle Morning has been on my reading list since last fall, even before Mr. Beeler started singing it's praises. This past week, I did finally move it to the top and start reading it. I am finding that one of my biggest personal obstacles is the honest belief that I will get to it later and then later doesn't seem to happen. The thought then is to rearrange my morning so that there is not need to run out of time later because the things that need doing are taken care of.
In my messiness and personal self beatings, the above quote was like a soothing balm. I know that my forward momentum towards mastery has been taking a slower trajectory than I hoped or set goals for lately. One thing is for sure though, no matter how hard or messy things are, I have not given up. Every single day I have my goals in my mind and I am making intentional progress. I may not be making enough progress to successfully complete them all but I am working on it daily. My hope is that this quote can maybe bring some peace and comfort to others who are also struggling with the trajectory of their journey.
Here's to never giving up!
Monday, 27 March 2017
Gratitude in the Storm
Lately every day has felt like a battle in the ring. Life has been throwing knock out punch after knock out punch. I am feeling very knocked around but I keep getting back up. I know that I have not been my usual self. Here's a glimpse into the mess I've been battling.
Last week, I started Monday off with my blog. I had my life lessons and goals in front of me. I had an opportunity to go listen to my girl sing with her choir - the voices of sweet angels. I was nailing it, that is until my mom texted. My Uncle passed away unexpectedly earlier that day. The rest of the day felt like a bit of a blur.
Last month my Grandmother was diagnosed with bladder cancer. This woman is tough as nails and has beat cancer before. We've watched a close family friend fight this same cancer and appears to be winning the battle. As a family, we know first hand that this is a difficult battle but were choosing to be optimistic. Wednesday she was scheduled for her first surgery to go in and take a good look and remove what they could. She came though the procedure like a the strong woman that she is.
Thursday our optimism took a significant blow. The doctors did remove what they felt they could. They did say that if she had been in her 50s instead of in her 90s, they would have removed her entire bladder. Due to her age, they made a quality of life decision instead. They are in the process of figuring out just how aggressive this particular cancer is. Right now the stance being taken is a focus on quality of life instead of beating this cancer at all costs. Even when you understand the reasons for the decision, it is still hard to swallow.
Add to this that we are discovering more and more as Grandma is away at the hospital that my Grandfather's mind is failing quickly. Bless their hearts, they have been thick as thieves hiding mental and physical issues from the world. They have been married over 70 years and had decided that they were going to take on the world so that they could stay in their home. It is becoming more and more apparent to everyone that this is not an option for much longer. So many heartbreaking decisions that need to be made.
I feel like life is a total storm right now. I feel like I can't take too many more punches. Yet in all of this, I am working to focus on gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for. It is the good things in life that help me to get back up off the mats after yet another punch. Besides the obvious things like faith, family and health, one of the things I am so grateful for is kung fu and the IHC. It gives me an outlet and structure when my days are blurry and messy. It has given me another family and support network when things are hard.
That all said, I am sad to say that I will not be at the meeting on Saturday. I find the meetings so beneficial. It is like family therapy and I always come out of them ready to conquer the next month. Instead at that same time, I will be in Calgary celebrating the life of my Uncle. I will be where I most need to be and where my Mom also most needs me to be. I'm not exactly sure when we will be heading south but we will be around the kwoon as always this week until we leave.
Now off to breath in life and gratitude. It's what is keeping me moving forward.
Last week, I started Monday off with my blog. I had my life lessons and goals in front of me. I had an opportunity to go listen to my girl sing with her choir - the voices of sweet angels. I was nailing it, that is until my mom texted. My Uncle passed away unexpectedly earlier that day. The rest of the day felt like a bit of a blur.
Last month my Grandmother was diagnosed with bladder cancer. This woman is tough as nails and has beat cancer before. We've watched a close family friend fight this same cancer and appears to be winning the battle. As a family, we know first hand that this is a difficult battle but were choosing to be optimistic. Wednesday she was scheduled for her first surgery to go in and take a good look and remove what they could. She came though the procedure like a the strong woman that she is.
Thursday our optimism took a significant blow. The doctors did remove what they felt they could. They did say that if she had been in her 50s instead of in her 90s, they would have removed her entire bladder. Due to her age, they made a quality of life decision instead. They are in the process of figuring out just how aggressive this particular cancer is. Right now the stance being taken is a focus on quality of life instead of beating this cancer at all costs. Even when you understand the reasons for the decision, it is still hard to swallow.
Add to this that we are discovering more and more as Grandma is away at the hospital that my Grandfather's mind is failing quickly. Bless their hearts, they have been thick as thieves hiding mental and physical issues from the world. They have been married over 70 years and had decided that they were going to take on the world so that they could stay in their home. It is becoming more and more apparent to everyone that this is not an option for much longer. So many heartbreaking decisions that need to be made.
I feel like life is a total storm right now. I feel like I can't take too many more punches. Yet in all of this, I am working to focus on gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for. It is the good things in life that help me to get back up off the mats after yet another punch. Besides the obvious things like faith, family and health, one of the things I am so grateful for is kung fu and the IHC. It gives me an outlet and structure when my days are blurry and messy. It has given me another family and support network when things are hard.
That all said, I am sad to say that I will not be at the meeting on Saturday. I find the meetings so beneficial. It is like family therapy and I always come out of them ready to conquer the next month. Instead at that same time, I will be in Calgary celebrating the life of my Uncle. I will be where I most need to be and where my Mom also most needs me to be. I'm not exactly sure when we will be heading south but we will be around the kwoon as always this week until we leave.
Now off to breath in life and gratitude. It's what is keeping me moving forward.
Monday, 20 March 2017
Lessons in the Funk
My mental space the past couple weeks has been a dark, messy, funky place to hang out. I'm not sure if it's the time of year, the fact that winter just won't vanish, the lack of time in the sunshine, life stresses, exhaustion, lingering post-concussion issues... What I do know is that my natural bent right now is to hibernate and hide from the world. Yet, since I am a person and not a bear, this is not an acceptable solution.
While hibernating, my go to way to spend my time (besides napping) is reading. The book I am currently reading has provoked a lot of thought. The focus of the book is to not care about everything, just the right things so that you can really make a difference. Then on top of that to not focus on the happy, shiny places all the time seeking them out but to shift your focus to what you are doing in the hard times instead. We can't all live on the mountain top all of the time. Life is not a chronic trip to the beach. If this is our expectation, then we are setting ourselves up for a great deal of disappointment. Instead the writer encourages the focus to shift onto how you live when you are not soaring. To recognize lessons learned in life and to celebrate them on your journey.
The chapter I finished yesterday talked about choices. We make choices in every second of our lives. We are choosing to either do something or not do something. Then he shifted to owning responsibility. This can be a tough one to swallow sometimes. We live in a society that loudly plays the blame game. People everywhere are quick to point the finger at someone else and to live like they are entitled. He very clearly addressed the difference between fault and responsibility. We do not have to accept fault for everything that happens in our lives. Many things happen to us that we have absolutely no control over. BUT, we do need to accept responsibility at all time. Why? Because we are responsible for what we do in each moment in response.
I have not been making the best choices. In my funk, I have definitely reacted more than I have responded which has not helped the atmosphere in my home. I have blamed others for not making me feel totally awesome all the while trying to tell my kids that they should not let the behaviour of others impact their emotions. If they are to have control and respond, should I not be leading by example.
I have made some good choices too though. I chose to show up last week instead of hiding at home like I really wanted to. I pushed myself out into a couple social situations that my first inclination was to put on my fuzzy jammies and totally avoid. Things were by far not great but I did not give up.
With that, I am off to own my choices today and to try to embrace the lessons that I am learning. Wouldn't it be super exciting to quit having to learn the same lesson over and over! To finally get it! That's the goal here. Then I can move on to the next lesson because life is a journey and we are never done growing.
While hibernating, my go to way to spend my time (besides napping) is reading. The book I am currently reading has provoked a lot of thought. The focus of the book is to not care about everything, just the right things so that you can really make a difference. Then on top of that to not focus on the happy, shiny places all the time seeking them out but to shift your focus to what you are doing in the hard times instead. We can't all live on the mountain top all of the time. Life is not a chronic trip to the beach. If this is our expectation, then we are setting ourselves up for a great deal of disappointment. Instead the writer encourages the focus to shift onto how you live when you are not soaring. To recognize lessons learned in life and to celebrate them on your journey.
The chapter I finished yesterday talked about choices. We make choices in every second of our lives. We are choosing to either do something or not do something. Then he shifted to owning responsibility. This can be a tough one to swallow sometimes. We live in a society that loudly plays the blame game. People everywhere are quick to point the finger at someone else and to live like they are entitled. He very clearly addressed the difference between fault and responsibility. We do not have to accept fault for everything that happens in our lives. Many things happen to us that we have absolutely no control over. BUT, we do need to accept responsibility at all time. Why? Because we are responsible for what we do in each moment in response.
I have not been making the best choices. In my funk, I have definitely reacted more than I have responded which has not helped the atmosphere in my home. I have blamed others for not making me feel totally awesome all the while trying to tell my kids that they should not let the behaviour of others impact their emotions. If they are to have control and respond, should I not be leading by example.
I have made some good choices too though. I chose to show up last week instead of hiding at home like I really wanted to. I pushed myself out into a couple social situations that my first inclination was to put on my fuzzy jammies and totally avoid. Things were by far not great but I did not give up.
With that, I am off to own my choices today and to try to embrace the lessons that I am learning. Wouldn't it be super exciting to quit having to learn the same lesson over and over! To finally get it! That's the goal here. Then I can move on to the next lesson because life is a journey and we are never done growing.
Monday, 13 March 2017
The Flip Side of Opportunities
Just finished plowing through the huge number of blogs posted this weekend. Well done team!!!
Monday is supposed to be my blog day. Even last night I was not really sure what I was going to write about but after reading the blogs this morning, I decided to share how my week has gone in light of my last blog.
Last week I shared how super excited I was with all the opportunities that were all around me. I was jumping on board left and right ready to knock my goals out of the park.
So how did the week go? I made a great deal of progress on some of my goals. I did go to knitting class and despite being teased by my family about being old, I did make a dishcloth. Technically, I have met my goal for the year. I have learned to knit and I did make a project. I am not done though! I have two more classes which means at least two more projects. For last week this was my big win.
I also had a smaller win by getting started on another personal goal that I had been previously stuck on. It's a long term one, so there will be no quick hit of adrenaline and then success on this one. Slow and steady progress - at least I am started.
As for the rest of the week, I'm not really entirely sure where it went. I was all go and crazy busy. I was eating right, getting in extra workouts, hitting my reps, working away at my goals BUT my life was really unbalanced. There were other areas that were put on hold to make this happen (Sifu Rybak's ball dropping analogy). This weekend was hard. I more or less started crashing on Saturday. Then Sunday the bottom fell out. I was an overwhelmed, anxious, stress out, exhausted, grouchy mess. Reading Sifu R. Langner's blog about pacing his goals and Ms. Kohut's blog about priorities hit me with so much to work through this morning.
I have never been great at the balancing act. One of the professionals I worked with while healing my concussion was constantly reminding me that I was not Superwoman, nor did I need to be. Realistic expectations of what I am able to accomplish in a day is something I am still practicing.
Anyways, I am off to do it ALL!!! Oh wait, no, I'm off to try to make a more realistic plan for my week that will help combat the feeling of chaos and overwhelm in my poor brain.
Monday is supposed to be my blog day. Even last night I was not really sure what I was going to write about but after reading the blogs this morning, I decided to share how my week has gone in light of my last blog.
Last week I shared how super excited I was with all the opportunities that were all around me. I was jumping on board left and right ready to knock my goals out of the park.
So how did the week go? I made a great deal of progress on some of my goals. I did go to knitting class and despite being teased by my family about being old, I did make a dishcloth. Technically, I have met my goal for the year. I have learned to knit and I did make a project. I am not done though! I have two more classes which means at least two more projects. For last week this was my big win.
I also had a smaller win by getting started on another personal goal that I had been previously stuck on. It's a long term one, so there will be no quick hit of adrenaline and then success on this one. Slow and steady progress - at least I am started.
As for the rest of the week, I'm not really entirely sure where it went. I was all go and crazy busy. I was eating right, getting in extra workouts, hitting my reps, working away at my goals BUT my life was really unbalanced. There were other areas that were put on hold to make this happen (Sifu Rybak's ball dropping analogy). This weekend was hard. I more or less started crashing on Saturday. Then Sunday the bottom fell out. I was an overwhelmed, anxious, stress out, exhausted, grouchy mess. Reading Sifu R. Langner's blog about pacing his goals and Ms. Kohut's blog about priorities hit me with so much to work through this morning.
I have never been great at the balancing act. One of the professionals I worked with while healing my concussion was constantly reminding me that I was not Superwoman, nor did I need to be. Realistic expectations of what I am able to accomplish in a day is something I am still practicing.
Anyways, I am off to do it ALL!!! Oh wait, no, I'm off to try to make a more realistic plan for my week that will help combat the feeling of chaos and overwhelm in my poor brain.
Monday, 6 March 2017
So Many Little Opportunities
Today I am really pumped about my journey! My groove isn't completely back but the consistency is coming and things are definitely headed in the right direction. My numbers are no where close to where they need to be. So why then am I so pumped? Life has handed me a huge pile of little opportunities in the past week and I have chosen to grab on to them.
The first opportunity came through a podcast I was listening to last week as I was driving. The speaker was talking about a bible study that she was putting together along with a challenge group for Lent. The focus for the 40 days of Lent was decluttering life. The challenge was to get rid of 10 things each day to make room for peace. Just the kick start I needed on my goal to deep clean and declutter my home! Definitely not a fun goal but one that I am seeing a huge need to deal with.
The next opportunity came over Facebook. A lady I know put a call out for help. She has been struggling with losing weight and was wanting to put together a month long support group to work on eating habits with the end result being weight loss. I had really cleaned up my diet last fall and had some fantastic success but then Christmas happened.... I let some bad habit slip back in.... The weight has stayed off but I still have not reached my goal. I jumped on in and that starts today.
Then as I was cleaning out my email -yes, that can be called decluttering too, I found an email from Pam's Woolly Shoppe. They have a learn to knit class starting tomorrow during the day. Just three short sessions on Tuesday mornings. Learning to knit was another goal I had set for this year. I had planned to maybe use YouTube or ask some of my knitting friends but this screamed accountability and get it done! Super excited about that one!
Then there is another personal goal that I have been struggling to get started on. Yesterday during the sermon at church, I was given different perspective on where to start and that has me excited too.
Finally, my weapon form... The idea of making up my own form was really stretching me in ways that I was not appreciating. I love to learn. I like to ask questions. I like to get answers to my questions. Making up your own form doesn't really work like that. I have been playing with them a fair amount and working through some videos trying to figure out how to do cool things without clubbing myself to death but not really much progress on stringing anything together. I wasn't overly worried about it. I had until the end of March. Then at the meeting Sifu Brinker said that they would be looking at our forms this week. Yikes! Since then I have managed to piece together a beginning and an ending and another sequence for a middle. I just need to smooth out some transitions and I have a rough beta version.
Opportunities do not have to be huge to still be opportunities. They are everywhere we look if our eyes are open and we are ready to receive them. Anyways, I am off to get ready for class!
The first opportunity came through a podcast I was listening to last week as I was driving. The speaker was talking about a bible study that she was putting together along with a challenge group for Lent. The focus for the 40 days of Lent was decluttering life. The challenge was to get rid of 10 things each day to make room for peace. Just the kick start I needed on my goal to deep clean and declutter my home! Definitely not a fun goal but one that I am seeing a huge need to deal with.
The next opportunity came over Facebook. A lady I know put a call out for help. She has been struggling with losing weight and was wanting to put together a month long support group to work on eating habits with the end result being weight loss. I had really cleaned up my diet last fall and had some fantastic success but then Christmas happened.... I let some bad habit slip back in.... The weight has stayed off but I still have not reached my goal. I jumped on in and that starts today.
Then as I was cleaning out my email -yes, that can be called decluttering too, I found an email from Pam's Woolly Shoppe. They have a learn to knit class starting tomorrow during the day. Just three short sessions on Tuesday mornings. Learning to knit was another goal I had set for this year. I had planned to maybe use YouTube or ask some of my knitting friends but this screamed accountability and get it done! Super excited about that one!
Then there is another personal goal that I have been struggling to get started on. Yesterday during the sermon at church, I was given different perspective on where to start and that has me excited too.
Finally, my weapon form... The idea of making up my own form was really stretching me in ways that I was not appreciating. I love to learn. I like to ask questions. I like to get answers to my questions. Making up your own form doesn't really work like that. I have been playing with them a fair amount and working through some videos trying to figure out how to do cool things without clubbing myself to death but not really much progress on stringing anything together. I wasn't overly worried about it. I had until the end of March. Then at the meeting Sifu Brinker said that they would be looking at our forms this week. Yikes! Since then I have managed to piece together a beginning and an ending and another sequence for a middle. I just need to smooth out some transitions and I have a rough beta version.
Opportunities do not have to be huge to still be opportunities. They are everywhere we look if our eyes are open and we are ready to receive them. Anyways, I am off to get ready for class!
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