Start Where You Are

The Year of the Pig has been underway for nearly a week.  I have to say that my start has not been strong.  There are a variety of reasons- illness being one of them.  Then there are a pile of excuses - busyness, funk from the delightfully cold weather we are experiencing and just general complacency.  For the past week, I've been poking away at requirements but not with full commitment.

The banquet always helps to give me an attitude adjustment.  Watching the candidates this past year has filled me with mixed feelings.  There is a general sense of awe at how they just nailed every part of their year.  They followed to program laid out before them.  They did not question why they needed to do what was asked, they just did it.  The improvement over the year was incredible to watch.  They may not have been able to see it themselves, but it was evident to those watching their progress.

Then there is this feeling that is hard to define but it is definitely not as comfortable.  I'm not sure how exactly to explain it because it is a mixed up mumble in my own mind.  I know the feeling originates from the disbelief that I too can achieve that level of awesomeness.  I truly question my ability to ever be prepared to grade let alone actually pass.  These feelings come from a high level of respect for all those who have travelled before me mixed in with a heavy dose of lack of faith in my own abilities.

Anyways, back to where I had planned to take this blog...  Start where you are...

A couple weeks ago I was wandering through the library waiting for my girl to be ready to head home and this book title jumped out at me from the shelf.  It was "Start Where You Are".  I initially walked away but something in me kept drawing me back so finally I decided to just sign it out.  I have not really had the chance to get very far with it but the initial message is one that I needed right now.

Life is a journey.  Right now I am just starting out on the road that I hope will lead to grading day in the fall.  Part of me is looking backward with regret.  I should have started preparing earlier...  If only I had done a better job with my Dog year requirements...  I should have's and if only's are really only good from making me feel badly about myself.  They do not spur me on or inspire.  What I have been doing the past week is working to first acknowledge exactly where I am right now and then to accept it.  I have found the acknowledgement part far easier than the acceptance part, if I'm being honest.  It is only from the place of acknowledging and accepting that I can truly make a plan to progress forward in a meaningful way - to start where I am - not where I wish I was.

This week I have set the goal to be mindful about where I am and what I need to be doing not just in that day but in that moment to keep inching forward.  The new black belts have shown all of us that what we need to do is just follow the program.  My plan is to be able to blog next week saying that I have not only followed the program but have managed to make up some of the lost ground from this week.  You would think after being on the team for so many years that this would be easy, but I am finding that the longer I am on the team, the harder it is proving to be.

On a side note...  My weapon came in the mail on Friday!  I am ridiculously giddy about how pretty it is...  Sorry Mr. Sollinger...  I promise I will do my best to make it look pretty mean instead of just plain ole pretty.

Being the Hands and Feet

A century ago life looked very different.  Our communities were smaller.  They were tight-knit.  Communities often looked more like families than anything else.  Ideally in a family, everyone pitches in to support one another, meet each other's needs and love each other well.  Communities lived this out on a larger scale.

Fast forward to today.  Our communities are much larger as people have moved into cities.  The communities that were once so knit together have taken on a new look.  People often do not know the people that share a fence or hallway with.  People do not share their lives in the same way. They are isolated from one another and the effects can be seen in the health of our communities, families and our mental health.

I believe that we were made to be in real community.  I believe we were made to knit together in relationships.  We are made to be kind to one another, do acts of kindness, to help.  It has become harder and harder in our society to live this out.  If you don't know your neighbours, then you don't know their needs.  We have been trained to either avoid eye contact or answer with a perfectly unauthentic "I'm fine." We do not even know the needs of others and they do not know ours.  The isolation continues...

How can we change this?  We have to do our small part in the world to be the hands and feet in our communities helping others and living with authenticity.  I have been blessed to be able belong to and raise my children within sub-communities (families) where we have the opportunity to do this.  We have been able to surround ourselves with living examples of how to be a blessing and how to in turn, receive a blessing.  

Silent River is one of those families that provides these opportunities both within the walls of the kwoon and also out in the larger community.

One of the ongoing projects that is happening right now is the Adopt a Driveway.  This is a perfect example of how our world has changed.  A century ago there likely would not have been a need to have a formal program because people would have just taken it upon themselves to just take care of one another.  In some parts of our communities, this is still the case.  For a variety of reasons, this is not happening on it's own for many in need, so a more formal program was developed.  We have been provided with the blessing of caring for one sweet couple through the simple act of clearing snow for them.  This one simple act may make the difference between whether or not they can stay in their family home and remain independent.  This is a simple gift that we can give to them.  In exchange we get to have some laughs while clearing the snow as a group and that warm feeling of knowing that we are making a real difference in their lives.

I challenge each of you to look around, really look.  We have lived in isolation within our larger communities for far too long.  Each of us alone cannot change the way our society is headed but we have the opportunity to each be a bright light.  That bright light has the ability to have a domino effect which does have the power to make real changes.  Open your eyes and your hearts today, see a need.  Then be the hands and feet and do what you can to meet that need.  It may be a simple as a smile to brighten someone else's day!  

Reflecting on the Year of the Dog

It is the time of year where we are taking stock of what we planned, how it all turned out so that we can learn as we move forward.


For the Year of the Dog, I had a plan. 

My first main kung fu goal was to be promoted to second degree brown belt.  The second goal was to start looking forward to grading in the Year of the Pig.  I did obtain the first goal in June of 2018.  Due to life changes, I feel that I did not get a solid handle on the second goal.  Many of the smaller (if you can call 50 000 push ups or 1000 form reps small) goals were not consistently pursued.  There were many opportunities lost and as a result, I am not where I had planned to be.

Personally, the goals that I had set where always somewhat geared towards preparing for a grading year.  I planned to lose weight and be in better physical condition, get my home in order and running more smoothly all while focusing on personal growth and my key relationships.

If you go solely off the list of personal goals that I set and use it as the only measure of success and failure, this year would appear to be a bust.  Physically I am not even close to where I planned to be (actually further).  Organizationally, my home is in complete chaos as we have started a major basement renovation which seems to impact every single corner of our home.

Some of the goals that I did fully succeed in.  My km were easily reached.  I have already read 32 books with a couple more that should be completed before the end of the year.  My goal was 24 books.  Much of my reading was to learn, grow and stretch as live was shifting and changing.

As life unfolded this year, my key focus turned from where I thought it would be, preparation for grading, to relationships - primarily my relationships with my children.  Relationships take focus and time and I do not regret a single moment that I have spent building the relationships I have with my family.  Homeschooling has placed a significant focus shift and time demands on life and it is the structure of the IHC that has allowed me to be able to have any sense of success in this new endeavor.  I have always struggled with consistency, becoming my child's teacher has forced me to work hard on this area.  I am building tools in the areas of organization, planning and consistently following through that I can use in other areas of my life.  Most importantly, I am building relationships with my people.

As I look forward, the goal is to take the consistency that I have been learning and apply it to the coming year.  I will need this consistency as I continue to care for my family, homeschool, manage our home, survive renovations, keep my business afloat, all while preparing to grade.  When I put it in a nice, neat list like this it still feels more than a little overwhelming.  My mindset is to take small bite size steps each day, to make a plan, continue to work on consistency and then reflect.  I am looking forward to where the Year of the Pig takes me.

Plodding on Along

Plodding - to work slowly and perseveringly at a task

Today's lesson came directly from Language Arts 7.  We have been looking at fables and one of the assignments was to read an Aesop's Fable and rewrite it in your own words.  The fable of The Tortoise and The Hare was the fable chosen.

I can relate my kung fu journey to the journey of the tortoise in many ways.  I started this journey later in life.  I was not in great physical shape and honestly, I still have a great deal of work to do.  I did not join with aspirations of even gaining a black belt.  Honestly, that thought was absurd to me.  Clearly I was not black belt material.

Fast forward many years and here I sit looking forward to a potential grading year.  I wondered how on earth I got here and the only answer that I can come up with is that tortoise.  I plodded on along.  I did not rise through the ranks quickly.  I just kept on showing up ready to learn.  I kept on trusting my instructors to teach me what I needed to learn.  Even through a year of injury, I just kept showing up even if my participation was limited to the bench.  Slow and steady...

Now it is time for me to define how I will proceed this coming year and I have decided to continue down this path of plodding.  Sustaining what is required on the path of mastery is honestly not really exciting on a day to day basis.  The way to sustain is to continue to persevere each and every day putting one foot in front of the other.  The tortoise was not fast but he never lost sight of his end goal.  Each step was deliberate, the process was definitely not quick.  That is the plan for this year.  To start each day with a plan.  To end each day with reflection.  To just keep moving forward...

New Year, New Opportunities

I love fresh starts.  One of my weaknesses is that I seem to need them constantly.  I know intuitively that each moment can be a new start but nothing feels fresher than a new calendar year.  Being part of the IHC, this fresh start is different.  Goals are made based on the Chinese calendar so January 1st does not mean new goals.  I find it does mean a fresh, new energy to carry me through that last month heading into the new IHC year.  Then it is another new start.

Last night we brought in the new year with a family movie night.  We have been on the road visiting family in BC and Alberta and it was good to slow down and just be the four of us.  The first movie we watched was Greater.  This movie is an incredible true story about a young man who aspired to play football first at the high school level, then university level and finally in the NFL.  The young man was killed just shy of signing that his NFL contract but his legacy changed football in the southern states forever.  He was not naturally talented.  He worked hard every single moment with the singular focus to obtain his goals.  He inspired the people in his world with the integrity he showed.  He did not let a single opportunity pass him by.

This story is serving as the perfect send off into this year.  I have one big goal.  I want to earn the right to be on the mats on grading day.  I am not sure what this year will bring but I will be looking for each and every opportunity. 

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

With fevers a blazin'

And coughs are abounding,

We are lacking cheer....

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Yes, flu season has hit our home with full force this year.  I appear to be patient zero in our current mess and lucky for me, I seem to be over the worst of it.  Little Miss has been down for over a week hard.  All she does is cough and sleep.  Hubby is putting up a good fight and his Fisherman's Friends seem to be a constant companion.  The only one who seems to be keeping it at bay is the teen who honestly does the least to prevent illness.  He has had a couple days here and there where he has felt under the weather but seems to rally.

What is a girl to do in the middle of all this!  It is hard to see my family suffering.  My patience is growing thin with this not so delightful virus.  It is really a recipe to be quite cranky myself. 

Instead, I seek out the good I can find.  I choose gratitude.

The top of the list is the reminder that although my family is sick, they will recover in a short time.  I'm sure many of you have heard the story about little Hudson Pedlar from Spruce Grove.  I had the pleasure of volunteering on a playschool board many years ago with his momma when she was pregnant with this sweet boy.  What started out as the flu in their house has turned into every parent's worst nightmare.  Hudson has been in the hospital since mid October.  He is winning his battle but his life will be forever changed.  My heart breaks over their pain and struggle that they have already endured and the uncertainty that still looms in the future for them. 

I am blessed.  My family, although they are suffering, will hopefully be done with this bug soon.  It has slowed down much of the past couple weeks at a particularly crazy time of year.  That is a blessing.  I am getting lots of cuddle time in during the day while I read to my Little Miss.  I will continue to choose to look for the little things to be grateful for.

Yes and No....

So it has been awhile since I have blogged.  Is there a really good reason?  Nope.  I have had a blog topic floating up around in my head for a few weeks so really no excuses exist.  It was a poke from a fellow team member (thanks Mr. Dyble) that shoved me into my chair at the computer....

It is that point in the year where we spend time evaluating how things are going.  Really, we should be doing this all the time but December always seems to naturally bring it out.  Add to that the need to sit down and put down goals for the next year and it is the perfect recipe for some self evaluation. 

In many ways I have not had a great year.  My numbers overall are horrible.  My consistency has been non-existent.  I did reach the goal of receiving my second degree brown belt (earlier than anticipated) but as far as actual countable, visible kung fu I feel like my year fell off right after that.

Why?  It simply has to do with simple math and a couple simple words.  Each and every one of us has a limited number of minutes in each day.  It is our job to choose how we spend them.  We have the opportunity to say yes and no in each moment as to how we spend them.  Some moments feel like they are decided for us but ultimately, we are basically in control of at least our perspective and our attitude.

I said a big yes back in June.  It has been a life changing yes.  This yes was a good decision.  This yes has impacted nearly every moment since I said it.  Yet, with the simple math of time each yes has some corresponding no's.  Yes, I chose to homeschool my daughter.  I do not feel like I said no to any of my goals that I laid out before making this decision.  Yet, the simple math has lead to many no's in my days.   My time is far more limited than I anticipated.  I have yet to establish new routines that will make adding some of the other things back in sustainable.  I did not blatantly say no to anything yet by not saying yes and acting on it right away, it became a no.

The challenge that I am finding laid out before me is how to better balance it all.  I have not taken anything off my plate that existed before my big yes.  I was a busy person before without a lot of extra space in my days.  I have worked at learning to say no to new things which is really hard for me.  I will likely need to continue to look for some deliberate no's to say so that there are less inadvertent no's in my life.  Really it boils down to being mindful of the consequences of my choices in each moment.  Each yes I say in each moment, means I am saying no to something else.  It is these no's that I need to keep an eye on.  I have the power to choose.