There are times in life when you wonder why you are where you are. Then there are times when you know without a doubt that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. This weekend was one of those moments.
I was provided the opportunity to attend a women's conference on Friday night and Saturday during the day. Leading up to the event I had hummed and hawed at whether I should go. Chad was sent out of town... Can I leave the kids for entire day? Will they burn the house down? (At lunch on Saturday, they assured me that only half the house was actually burned down so we are half good.)
I chose to put the questions aside and just go. I was exactly where I needed to be. I was blessed to be surrounded by amazing ladies. I cried more than my share of tears (I am still perhaps a wee bit dehydrated). I walked away with a new perspective that I am now working to apply to my life.
The speaker on Saturday morning used an example that I found hit home particularly hard. The image was one of a person who spins plates. They start with one... That's pretty cool... Then you add another... That seems to be going ok... Then it's another... The crowd is cheering and asking for more plates.... On and on...
The plates represent the many things we juggle in life. I personally have quite an array of plates on any given day. Sometimes (actually more often than I'd like to admit), I drop one. I take a moment, get out the glue and then it's back to spinning. Funny thing is that I often find a couple more plates to spin in those moments. The plates look cool up there spinning. Everyone is focused on the plates.
Now for just a second look down at the person who is doing the spinning. That person in not the picture of calm and stability. Once that person hits a certain threshold of plates, they become more and more frantic, running around trying to keep those plates up in the air. Yes indeed, that is me. Frantic, running.... My heart and soul yearn for peace and stability.
I spent time this past weekend starting to sort through the plates I've been spinning. I have been asking hard questions. Questions like why am I spinning this? Is this even my plate to spin? Did I agree to take on that plate to please someone? Am I spinning this one just for the sake of ego? Those are some of the roots that I have found in the plates as I've looked at them - people pleasing and ego.
The new vision that I am working towards is holding a much smaller stack of plates and not to be holding them alone. I only want to hold the plates that have been carefully selected and that can manage without chaos. This will take time as I sift through the questions.
So here's where that construction zone reference in the title comes in! You may want to proceed with caution. There may be plates flying here and there and everywhere as I sort through them.
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