The past week I read a great little book by Hyrum W. Smith called "You Are What You Believe - Simple Steps to Transform Your Life". He has spent a large portion of his life and career influencing people all over the world. Over time he has developed a model of how people make the choices they make. I will attempt to take what he so eloquently wrote in the book and break it quickly down into a blog post....
The basics of the model are that we all have four basic human needs. We need to survive. We need to love and be loved. We need to feel important (significance). We need variety.
We all have a belief window. This is where we put the principles that we live by. This is where we put our beliefs, assumptions, morals, values. We place principles onto our belief window because we believe that is how we are going to get our human needs met. We look at the entire world and our lives through this window.
Then based our the view, we make up internal rules. If this happens, then this... Often this step happens with absolutely no conscious thought because we are reacting to what is on our belief window. The next step is we step out in action. Often again, there is not much conscious thought here. Then finally, we have our results. This process often happens absolutely seamlessly without us even knowing it has happened.
The point of the book was to first look at our actions and results. He challenged the readers to ask what need do we think a particular action is meeting and then the most important question... Will that action meet our needs long term.
He had the opportunity to go into high schools all over the States. In one instance, the principal of the school chose to not have Hyrum talk to the entire student body, only 50 of his hardest cases. The teens that were place in the room with Hyrum were the worst of the worst. This school was in a severely disadvantaged area. Many of this teens had already served time. Many of them were battling addictions.
The beauty of this model is it allows you to look at hard behaviours in a way that does not personally attack the person. Hyrum took on the challenge of leading this group of teens through the process where they talked about drugs. The kids quickly identified the need for variety as the driver behind this behaviour. He then challenged them to think of role models, for lack of a better way of describing them, that had made similar choices. The kids were quick to name people like Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, John Belushi. The kids were excited and feeling very justified in their choice for variety until Hyrum asked the second question. Where are these people today? They are all dead. How did they die? Drug overdoses. Did their behaviour meet their needs over time? Well, it definitely violated the need to survive completely.
Six weeks later, the principal called Hyrum wanting to know what he had done. 10 of the 50 teens in that room that day had completely turned their lives around using this model.
So, you may ask what does this have to do with my journey...
No, I am not struggling with a drug addiction unless you call chocolate a drug. Then I may be in trouble. Yet I still make choices that are definitely not standing up over time. The IHC program has some tough requirements. You succeed and fail at this program a little at a time, each day. It demands discipline. There is that little voice inside me that says that that is not very fun... Sometimes that voice is yelling because let's face it, push ups are not fun.
Sifu Brinker has been talking about effortless effort for years. I understand the concept but the beauty of it can't be found without building the habits and structure in our lives. I have talked about building habits. I have started and stopped with habits so many times that I can't remember if I'm starting or stopping anymore but the reality is the same - I fight it because I am seeking variety. Is it working for me? Not at all!
This need for variety is just the tip of the iceberg for me. Underneath that tip is a whole bunch of principles on my belief window that are slowing me down or down right stopping me. I tell myself that I can't do things. I tell myself that getting a black belt is totally doable for the next guy but not for me. I tell myself that I do not have time yet I keep saying yes to everyone who asks me to do something. That is just to name a few things that are lurking under the surface that this short, little book has been painfully ripping the bandaids off of.
The truth is mastery is built on repetition. Repetition is hard to maintain. Why? It is not exciting and we seek variety. The question I need to be asking is how can I satisfy the need for variety while building the routines I need to succeed. Right now I am having so much fun with my sword form that it is almost ridiculous! It is new. It is totally different from anything else I have learned. But... I also know full well that there will come a time in the year where it will not seem so new and exciting but to strive for mastery, I will need to continue to push through that and keep going. I will need to rely on some of my personal requirements to pepper life with the spice and variety that I seek while building the base of the routines for the rest.
As for my thinking and self doubt... That will continue to be a work in progress as I look at my belief window. It is going to be a near constant battle to replace the beliefs that are so deeply imprinted but surrounding by the support of the community we are building, I will keep on pressing in.
As for right now... I have not built the routines needed to maintain the numbers I have promised. Inspite of that fact, I have done more since the Year of the Dog started than I have done prior to the start of the year. I am building the base to keep moving forward. Using the Persistence app that Ms. Gibbons suggested has helped me consistently keep track of my numbers and gives me honest feedback on where I am at compared to where I need to be.
Push ups 1825/ 50 000
Sit ups 1704/ 50 000
Kempo 15/ 1000
WuDang Sword 53/ 1000
Distance 83.4/1609
Kicks 210/ 50 000
Sparring 0/ 1000
AoK 53/1000
Gratitude 53/1000
Journal 15/355
Piano 225 min/ 4800 min
Reading 2/24 books
I have a few personal goals that I have not started on but with the busy month of February behind me - I am ready to get on those as well.
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