I finished the book Addicted to Busy: Recovery for the Rushed Soul by Brady Boyd last night. It was a great book. Now before you rush out and read it, I must issue a warning. This book was written by a Christian pastor and a large portion of the book does relate to resting in relation to faith. I have done my best to mine out the some of the gems in this book that are universal regardless of your faith choice.
He started with a warning to choose rest before it chooses you. When rest chooses you, it is not always on the terms that any of us would choose and often it looks like a health crisis of some sort.
He also talked about how plugged in our society is - making each of us available 24/7/365. We don't even realize how dependent we are on our devices until they are pried from our fingers - whether it is being available constantly or having information readily available at our fingertips.
He discussed the difference between rest and entertainment. Entertainment in and of itself is not bad but it really is no substitute for true rest. He used a trip to Disneyland as an example. Entertainment at it's maximum but after a day there, you need rest. Often the forms of entertainment that people choose are really just mind numbing or an escape. They do not provide rest.
He addressed some of the reasons why we may be so busy. The first one really spoke to me - being a slave to the opinion of others. I struggle with people pleasing. The remedy was to work more and more on being your authentic self and not who you think you should be. Another reason is that we define ourselves by what we have accomplished. We believe that if we don't get absolutely every single thing done, then we are lesser people. The final one that really jumped out at me was the fear of missing out. This often plays itself out with our lovely little hand held devices and really in particular Facebook. We are constantly checking in. We don't want to miss a single thing. There is also the desire to look interesting to others.
Another area that I really struggle with that he poked at was the little time wasters. In and of themselves, they are small things, really they seem insignificant. Yet it is so easy to string an entire day of these types of activities together. This is when the little things really start to add up. I know we have talked about this in the sense of mastery but this is the other side of the coin where we are allowing mediocrity to slide into our lives.
So what are we to do....
Most of his advice really was nothing shocking. Try to really pay attention, yes there is that mindfulness thing again. Try to really slow down and really look around you. Take in life with grateful eyes and a grateful heart - the life that is right in front of us that we are currently living now. Leave the future to itself and stay in the right now. Then finally probably the best remedy, truly practice thankfulness - not just in when it comes to mind but really seeking out places to praise. There was a discussion about how rest is opposed in our culture and that we must be ruthless in our pursuit of it. It will not happen automatically. There must be intentionality.
For me the final chapter was the reminder that I really needed to hear the most. It was the reminder that we must have margin in our lives so that we have space for others. I do not want to live my life being completely selfish. I want to be open and ready to help others. When we are chronically stressed out then the people who are around us with needs just fade into the background of life. We are unable to see their needs, let alone actually do anything to help. I can't even begin to imagine the missed opportunities to bless others simply because I was a stressed out mess myself.
At the very end of the book he warned that once we decide to carve out rest in our lives, we need to be very intentional about what we do with that rest. We need to look at our lives and ask what makes us feel the most alive. He encouraged simplicity.
So what am I going to do with all of this great advice.... Tomorrow I am heading off with my family to spend a few days camping and fishing. I am going to unplug as much as I can possibly get away with. I am going to focus on the people right in front of me. Spending quality time with my peeps is one of the things that makes me feel most alive and I can't wait to get on the road!
Enjoy!
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