Structure... In some ways structure has been the backbone of my life. As a youngster I figure skated and there were days where I did spend more time on the ice than I did in a classroom at school. Structure was an absolute necessity. It seemed so much easier back then when all I had to worry about in life was skating and getting all my school work done during school hours because homework was not really an option. Even my social life was structured and my friends grew to understand that during the week I was pretty much MIA but I could be found on weekend nights as long as it wasn't too late because I needed to be back on the ice for 6 am the next morning.
Fast forward and now my structure is still framed around activities that take place at set times. I move heaven and earth many days to make sure that kids make it to kung fu, music, horseback riding, youth group or whatever activities they have. I have committed to making sure that they make it where I said I would have them.
The rest of life seems to lack structure for me. Deep down I am the kind of person who likes to have it all laid out with lists and plans. Since having kids though I have found that those lists and plans cannot be too rigid since life happens and I am rarely in control of that life stuff because it involves other people. I really struggle when I have a plan all laid out in my head and then something throws a kink in it. I tend to not handle the frustration well. I have become better at shifting gears with less frustration but in many ways my go to coping mechanism has shifted to not making as many plans because they don't seem to turn out anyway.
Now, that is the funny thing about coping mechanisms... They are like a bandaid. They seem to hold things together, make it all feel better but it is only a temporary solution. Having no set plans in place leads to mediocrity much of the time. The final result is that I end up meeting the needs of others but nearly all promises made to myself get swept aside.
In order to get where I want to be in the fall, this can't continue. I need to stake a claim on my time. I need to keep my promises to myself front and center and I need to make good on them on a daily basis. I need to set up a structure where that has a chance of happening. The two suggestions were to either get it done in the morning before the distractions have a chance to start or get out of the house and away so that I can hide from all things distraction and get down to business. Right now adding any time outside the house feels like more than I can manage so I have placed that option to the side for future consideration. That leaves getting up earlier as my current alternative.
In the very recent past I used to get up much earlier. The stress and busyness of February found me shifting my schedule. I was staying up later trying to get life done. I started sleeping a little later so that I wouldn't fall asleep while trying to read in the mornings with Georgia. By sleeping a little later, I am still talking about the alarm going off at 5:45 so by no means was I sleeping in. That is only a few minutes before Chad gets up so I didn't leave me much time to focus just on me. This is where I know I need to make the changes to my structure.
So starting last night, I am working on a new structure. In order to get a good start, the night before needed to be addressed first. I made sure I had our school plans all laid out and ready to roll for today. Then I made sure that I got my butt to bed on time. The alarm went off at 5:00 and I rolled out. I won't lie. It sure did not feel great and it did take me a bit to find a groove but I did find it. I managed to get my personal journal done plus push ups, sit ups and form reps all before anyone else was out of bed. I did not have all my daily reps done but I was close. I had some questions ready in my mind to ask in class and planned to finish up my reps then. I kept the thought that I needed to get it done before life could interfere. It felt great to have most of the reps done. I felt very accomplished.
As my day started, it did not take long for that thing call life to interfere. I did not make it to class. I did not get my questions answered. Once I post this blog I will finish up the requirements that were not done earlier. The reason life was derailed was definitely a matter of priorities. I received a phone call as I was driving out of our subdivision today that I could not ignore. A much loved neighbour needed assistance immediately so instead of heading to class, we packed up and went to the hospital. My heart has been heavy all day, school was definitely a challenge as my girl's heart was heavy too. I am grateful we were available. I am grateful that he felt he could call and know that we would be there for him until his wife could arrive. I am grateful to have neighbours that I consider family.
Anyways, back to the actual purpose of this blog... Structure. I am working on it. Today it worked out well. I know that is often the case at first so the secret is to keep it up. So I will be off to bed shortly so that I can do it again tomorrow.
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