How Does Your Cape Fly?

This blog post has been mentally in the works for a couple of weeks.  I am struggling to find the right the words.  Perhaps it's because I have mixed feelings that I am sorting through.  I have questions that I have been pondering and have not yet resolved.  Anyways, I am going to try to put into words some of the conversation I've been having in my head.


Mastery...  That is what we are after.  That is what we signed up for.  That is with the understanding that mastery is not actually achievable but we are to pursue it daily as a journey.


So what does mastery look like?  It looks different to each and every one of us.  We all have our own versions of what our best life would look like.  It is the time of year that Sifu Brinker has asked us to really reflect on our journey since February and also to look forward for the next year.  It is goal setting time and without a clear vision of where we want to go, you can't set good goals.


So what does mastery in my life look like?  I have a very clear picture of what I would love my life to look like.  It is filled with love and order.  I have an abundance of time for family and friends.  My faith walk flourishing.  I am able to volunteer in my community as my heart leads me.  My house is not just under control, but looks like it could belong in a magazine.  My yard and garden, the same deal.  Kung fu, I would definitely look like a ninja.  My small business would be flourishing with my clients needs always being exceeded.  I would have time to pursue different leisure activities (reading, music, crafts) without cutting into any of these other areas.  This picture has always been pretty clear for me.  Can't you just see it!  There I am living this amazing life.  I have my superwoman cape on.  It is flowing in the wind.


Except, this is not what my journey looks like.  I am truly pursuing this life.  I even have my cape on.  It is not flowing in the wind.  It is seriously bunched up in my panties.  As I reflect on the vision I have for my life, I am more and more feeling like it is utterly unrealistic and that it just may be my undoing.  I spread myself too thin by trying to spread myself too far.  At this season of my life, I do not posses the time, strength or energy to truly pursue this full vision all at once.  The result has been a great deal of overwhelm, frustration and bad attitude. 


So what is a girl to do?  Seriously, folks I have been trying to figure this out!  I am still working through this.  I do know that it will be challenging to set goals going forward until I can sort through some of it.  Anyways, that is where my head and my heart are at.  Now I am off to untangle and unbunch my cape so that I can catch my zzz's so I can pursue mastery again tomorrow.