Choosing My Fuel

The last meeting was a fantastic time of sharing filled with inspiring stories to fill our buckets.  I look at where Mr. Kirkman is right now and how hard he is working to feel a part of the team.  I can relate to his struggles because less than a year ago, they were my struggles.  Then Mr. Kohut's story about his health.  Wow!  I was on the verge of sharing where I was at, but seriously who can top that one!


So where am I at?  I remember at one of the very first meetings I ever attended in this program, Sifu Brinker asked us if we were in the best shape of our lives.  Not many hands popped up.  Mine was definitely not up.  That was one of the reasons I had joined the IHC.  I was ready for change.  The ride has been bumpy and riddled with learning experiences.  I have had setbacks to climb over and through which caused me to constantly change my approach.  Finally, this summer I was feeling like I was in a place to jump in with both feet for the first time since week 2 of my sheep year.  I decided the kick off would be bootcamp.  I was terrified but decided that this was what needed to happen so off I went.  It was the perfect kick off.  Many of the seminars where directly in line with the plan that I was putting into place.  Sifu Beckett's cut out the sugar, fix your portions and eat your fruit and veggies talk was in the works.  Sifu Lindstrom's get your butt moving at home talk was in the works.  Sifu Rybak's chat about different ways to view self defense were totally wrapped up in the plan.


After bootcamp, I went home exhausted, sore, but ready.  I have cleaned up my eating habits significantly.  I have been so much more active than in the past.  I am feeling the best that I have felt in years.  I am not in the best shape of my life but the journey is definitely heading in the right direction.


So then the meeting took an unexpected twist.  Sifu Brinker announced a 30 day vegetarian challenge.  I must say, this caused a great deal of inner conflict.  I am all for the idea of making positive changes - that is why I joined the program in the first place.  When I opt out of a challenge, I do not do so lightly.  To maybe understand my situation, a little back history may be helpful.


When my son was four years old, we were dealing with some new diagnoses and it was suggested that his diet could be a great help in supporting him.  We visited a naturopath and found out life changing news.  We removed wheat and most dairy from his diet.  We found out he holds onto heavy metals in his system so over the years we have done chelation.  The behavioural changes were unbelievable in the most amazing ways.


While this was all going on we were expressing concerns to our medical doctor about our daughter.  She was eating ravenously but had stopped growing or gaining weight.  She was falling off her growth curve - from 50th percentile to the 5th.  I kept being told it was because I am little person and this was just her way of ending up where she should be.  We took her to the same naturopath.  Another blood test similar to Way's but different results.  The diagnosis was early leaky gut.  Want to scare the pants off yourself, do a little research on that one and then think that your sweet 2 year old has it.  More diet changes - no wheat, absolutely no dairy, no eggs, limit her grains, serious rotation of foods plus horrible drinks to heal her guts.  But heal they did.  She started to gain weight.  She started to grow.  Within four months she was back up to the 50th percentile.


So for ease of the universe, we all went gluten free.  Back then it was not as easy as it is now.  Regular grocery stores did not carry the food it does now.  You could not buy the bread and buns without going to the city and then the options were very limited and extremely expensive.  I bought all these crazy flours and tried mixing them this way and that way trying to feed my kids.  The harder I tried to feed them properly, the worse I was feeling physically myself.


At the worst of it, I would feel not too bad until about 11am on a good day but then things would quickly fall apart.  I was either in the washroom or lying in my bed in agony.  This would carry on for most of the day and then repeat the next day.  I was trying to raise to kids.  My husband was working out of town.  Finally I broke and went to the doctor.  He diagnosed me with IBS and suggested that I reduce my stress.  Yup!  That was it.  I looked across the room at my kids, who had on rubber gloves and were taking turns shoving tongue depressors down each other's throats and asked which one he planned to take off my hands.  It was then that I decided it was my turn to visit the naturopath.


I did the same blood test that my kids did.  The results were different in many ways but similar in others.  Many of my favourite foods were on the do not eat list.  I resolved then and there that I would give it a try because of the success we had seen in the kids.  Within four day, ALL of my IBS symptoms were gone.  They stayed gone provided I stuck to not eating the list of foods that the blood test had said my body could not handle.  I have maintained that list to this day and when I feel tempted, my body is quick to remind me of why I just should not go there.


So what does this have to do with the vegetarian challenge...  Well my do not eat list has items such as most dairy, eggs, rice, beans, lentils, sweet potatoes...  I can see the merits and the arguments of the vegetarian side of this, but I just struggle with how I will ever be able to eat a sustaining vegetarian diet safely without some of these protein staples.  I look at how great I am feeling right now and I don't want to lose the ground I've made just to follow the group. 


I have asked myself if these limitations are an excuse or a reason.  This is a theme that has come up over the past year and I wanted to put this to the test in this decision.  I have decided at this time, it is very much a reason.  I am not afraid to make changes to my diet that I feel will be helpful.  I know that 30 days is really a very short time to go without something that you desire.  I just look back at how sick I was and I just can't jump in full bore and risk that.  I will continue the diet changes that I implemented only 6 weeks ago.  I am still in the process of taking those from a challenge sort of mindset to a lifestyle mindset.  One of the things that I have learned over the years is that we are each beautifully yet individually crafted.  There is not one diet that the whole world can eat and be healthy.  Each of us being individual, must find our own best way.  That does take experimenting and education.  I will be watching for recipes that will work for me and my family and will give them a try.  Please share!!!  Finally, I will be on the sidelines cheering those of you on this journey on along!