Just before Christmas in 2001 I received a very excited phone call from Chad. He was out running errands to prepare for our first Christmas together as a married couple. He wanted to know exactly where I was. I was sitting on the C-Train. He told me to get off at the last stop and to stay put until he could come get me instead of getting on the bus like I usually did. I had no idea what was going on but did as he asked. He showed up and he was so excited that I thought he was going to burst.
Like I said, he was out running errands. One of the things he was to get was week-long fish feeders for our aquarium. That day instead of fish food, he bought me a puppy for Christmas. He dragged me to this bin filled with the sweetest little furballs and told me to pick one out. There was one who was a little smaller than the others but had so much spunk. That night we took that sweet girl home.
I remember getting home and Chad asking me what her name was. I had no idea what to name her. He went to take a shower and told me to have a name for her by the time he got out. I remember laying on the floor of our condo lying looking face to face with my new sweet girl. By the time he came out, my sweet Sammie was named and had starting wrapping herself around my heart.
Over the years we have so many great memories with her. She went everywhere with us. She slept in our bed every night for about 11 years. She loved the kids as our little family grew. She wrapped her sweet puppy love around everyone who met her.
Back in July she really started to have some health issues but always seemed to rally. She had really seemed to stabilize and life was so good - that is until Tuesday. That morning she got up like she usually did. She ate her breakfast like a trooper but really seemed to have a hard time settling down afterwards. As the day went on she became extremely disoriented. By supper, she was no longer really interested in her food. I kept telling myself that she had had this happen before and that she would rally.
Wednesday morning she was so much worse. She was hardly able to stand. She could no longer walk. She did not want to eat. Her balance was so off. That morning when I picked her up and looked into her terrified eyes, I knew something had to be done to help her. We called to vet and made an appointment for later that day.
That afternoon, I managed to get in the best puppy snuggle. She settled down into the most restful sleep. I sat and listened to her sweet puppy snores. I almost cancelled the vet appointment. I knew what was coming and I didn't know if I could do it. It took everything in me to wake up my sweet Sammie girl and take her to her appointment.
Once we were at the vet, it became very clear that there was nothing more that the vet could really do for my sweet girl. They could try to relieve her nausea but the rest of her symptoms could not be treated. The vet believes that my girl had a brain tumour. I knew that I could not look into her little eyes another day and see the fear that I had seen earlier that day. With Chad by my side, I hugged my sweet girl, gave her a kiss and told her I loved her as she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Then I looked at my husband and thanked him for the best Christmas gift ever. It was one of the hardest yet obvious decisions that I have ever had to make.
The rest of this week has been hard. I have a Sammie-sized hole in my heart. I miss her more than I can begin to express. I know with time my heart will start to heal and the memories will be all the sweeter but in the meantime....
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