What!?! I know! Earth shattering! I am that person who secretly believes that I can do it all, all the time. Then I fall on my face because nothing actually gets the focus it needs. I have worked hard this year to not listen to my internal lie that I can indeed have and do it all right now. I have instead really narrowed down my focus.
When I started off my year of mastery, I had this wonderful list of goals. If you know me, you know that I see the list as wonderful. Not necessarily all of the contents of the list, but the list itself. There are very tangible things on that list. Do your push ups. Write your blog. Read some books. Keep a journal. These items are neat things on the list with check boxes that either happen or don't happen, very black and white.
There is this one requirement that sits mixed in there that is not so black and white. Mend a relationship.... This is not a one and done activity. This is not easy to define. This one is rarely a topic of conversation when we discuss how our goals are going. This year, this was my primary goal. If I accomplished nothing else this year, this was the requirement that I was wanting to put first and foremost in my life. It wasn't just one relationship that I wanted to focus on but three. I know the goal is one but the three relationships that I chose to work on are so inter-related, I couldn't pick just one.
My focus was on my family. I like to think that my relationships with the people in my home have always been pretty good but there is always room for improvement. I am at a stage in life where this focus is so important. Raising a teen and tween has a different dynamic than raising younger children. They do not just do what they are told because you told them. Man, that would make it so much easier!!!! You need to have a relationship with them. You need to be a role model. You need to be someone that they feel they can trust. As I look forward into the years ahead, there will be a time when my home may have less people living in it. My relationship with my hubby is one that I want to be thriving. I want my home to be a place where love and acceptance runs rampant.
Having this goal as my main focus has been time consuming. There are days where it takes every ounce of thought and energy that I have. There are days where I go to bed feeling like I've been run over by a truck. There are other days where I go to bed with a huge smile. I am seeing the fruit of this focus. I am seeing a teen who has transitioned to a new school and seems to be happier than he has been in a long time. I have pulled my tween home to pour into her life. The improvements to her mental health in the last few months honestly brings me to tears. My relationship with my spouse is the best it has been since we started our family. We have not arrived. I do not believe that the work on these relationships is done (nor will it ever be).
That said, most of my requirements this year are not going well. My list does not have nearly the number of check marks that this list maker would love to see. That does not mean that I am giving up on the rest of the check boxes. I will do what I can each day to pick up where I left off and move forward. There are many great challenges put out there by other team members to help me with motivation and accountability. I will do my best to not beat myself up over the lack of check marks and remember that success is not always so easily defined. But if I accomplish nothing further this year, my focus on my family will have made this year of mastery one of great success. Without these foundational relationships thriving, nothing else really matters anyway.
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