Stepping Forward & Taking Charge

Why did I join kung fu?  Was it to get my black belt?

Honestly, I did not mean to join kung fu.  I had originally enrolled Waylon based on a recommendation from an occupational therapist to help him with his balance and gross motor skills.  I had planned to be the mom on the bench.  Funny things happen on that bench...  There are other moms on that bench and sometimes, they take kung fu too.

Over the years, I migrated from the bench to the mats.  I originally joined because it looked like fun and I needed some exercise.  The class times worked since the kids were in school and I was able to hang out with a great group of moms.  My goals at that point were to simply show up, sweat, laugh and learn something new.  To me the belts were not really super relevant or important.  It was nice to see stripes because they officially marked progression and improvement but they were not what drove me to the mats.

Fast forward several years and I find that the same things keep bringing me back to the mats.  I show up.  I sweat.  I laugh.  I learn something new.  I hang out with an inspiring group of people.  Yet as much as that part has stayed the same, there has been a shift.  That black belt that I never imagined as a possibility is now potentially right around the corner.  I have admitted several times that this possibility has come with a great deal of "feelings" as of late.

With only one stripe left, I needed to take a hard look at my own goals and how I am approaching kung fu.  The one stripe that I have left is grappling.  I had a choice to make.  I could continue on the way I have been but this path did not look like one that would lead to me really learning the grappling curriculum anytime soon.  After all, just imagine trying to learn grappling from someone who is pregnant with twins.  We all had a few laughs but then had to come up with a new plan. 

This plan required me to take my progress fully into my own hands and reach out for help.  The plan requires me to be at open training asking questions and attending any and every class offered at the school that I can get to when grappling is being taught.  Lucky for me, this seems to be the focus this week and next.  What this meant for me yesterday was three kung fu classes filled with learning and practice.  Being able to learn the techniques in the morning, then come back later in the day and really work on them really helped.  I was one tired girl at the end of the day though.

This week I chose to not let the "feelings" rule and stepped out.  We often talk about the qualities of a black belt.  The one most often mentioned is the eye for detail.  This will always been something that I am striving for but this week I was focused on a different quality - actually taking initiative and in many ways control over my own journey.  Thank you Sifu Rybak, Sifu Lindstrom and Sifu Freitag for the support as I step out of my comfort zone.