Momentum - Ebbs & Flows

Everywhere we look in life, there are cycles.  Highs and lows...  Then another round of highs and lows...  We see this in nature, particularly in our lovely Alberta climate.  We see this in our moods and energy.

I have noticed a trend over the past few years in the IHC.  I usually start the week off with a high.  I write my blog.  I look at my numbers.  I give myself I swift kick in the bottom and off to class I go...  My momentum seems to waiver a little but then Wednesday I start my day off again with a kung fu class and I am back in the game again (at least to some degree).  Thursday is often very busy but I have piano which is like a warm hug and then end the day off with class.  No matter how the day has gone, it ends well.  Friday...  By Friday I find that I am sinking into a momentum low.  My focus shifts to getting ready for the weekend.  In the past the weekend has flown by full and fast but not with much intention with regards to my more physical requirements.  Then I am back to my wake up call on Monday.

So far this year, I have managed to add another blip into the weekend by coming to open training.  In the past, it was hard to get there.  Saturday always seems to be busy, especially if Chad has the day off.  It was not always well received when I'd want to take off in the middle of the day to go train.  This year has been different because I am not the only one in the house wanting to take advantage of open training.  It has been a huge help.

Looking more closely at my own personal cycle of kung fu momentum, there are a few things that I have noticed.

The first is that most days, even my highs are not quite high enough.  Compared to the average person, the number of push ups I have already done this year is quite fantastic but I am not on track to meet my goals.  I need to start edging those highs up to a level that will meet those goals but not to a level that is not maintainable.

The second thing that I would like to work on is the lows.  Having ups and down is inevitable...  My goal is to make the difference between those highs and lows as consistent and steady as possible.  Really, the goal is to eliminate the all or nothing mentality.  I would love to get to the point where my Monday check in was more of a celebration than a kick in the pants.

My goal this week is consistent momentum!  Now this makes me giggle a little since it is spring break.  All sense of any routine that I normally have has been virtually shot out the window.  Then add to that, we are out of town for the Easter weekend.  Yes, I have a planned trip right in the middle of where I usually lose my momentum...  I indeed do have my work cut out for me.


Numbers as of March 25/18
Push ups      3229/ 50 000
Sit ups         3280/ 50 000
Kempo           37/ 1000
WuDang Sword 199/ 1000
Distance     192.8/1609
Kicks       581/ 50 000
Sparring     40/ 1000
AoK         120/1000
Gratitude  117/1000
Journal      34/355
Piano    7.0 hours/ 80 hours
Reading   4/24 books
Geocaches  4/120 finds

Focus on the First One First

With each step, sit up, push up, form repetitions...  No matter which goal you wish to attain in life, you need to just start.  The big goal can seem daunting but as we focus on incremental progress and breaking it down into doable steps, it becomes just that - possible.  Really it all starts with doing the first thing and then repeating that until you gets some momentum.

This little bit of wisdom is what I keep trying to remind myself of this year.  I started the year full of excitement, ready to conquer the world.  Some days I do conquer what needs to be done that day to complete my goals, many days I do not.  Every day I do at least one thing to move me in the right direction inching my way forward.

There is one goal where I am having more issues just getting started than the others.  I blogged about my tense relationship with my bathroom scale.  It is not so much the scale that is the issue, really it is just a scale.  The issue is the number that is shows and what that number represents.  My scale does not lie.  My scale is quick to show me exactly where I stand.

Lately my scale has been signaling to me that mediocrity has set in.  Although my weight has been a struggle my entire adult life, I do know what I need to do to maintain a healthy weight for me.  It is not easy and it takes a great deal of intentionality.  It is an area of life where I can not allow mediocrity to sneak in and expect to be able to hide it.

So where am I with respect to this goal?  Honestly, I am feeling extremely overwhelmed by where my habits have lead me.  This goal is a little different in many ways than the other ones.  It is not tracked necessarily by what I do but by what I am able to lose.  There are many factors that come into play in order for me to be successful.  In many ways, this leaves me feeling defeated and then struggling to start.

So what do I need to do about this?  I have set a plan that is more easily trackable that will put me on the path to success.  Really, what I need to do is take that first step, tracking my food, fighting back against the mediocrity.  Most importantly, I need to focus on losing the first pound first and not be focused on the big number.


Numbers as of March 18/18
Push ups      2697/ 50 000
Sit ups         2697/ 50 000
Kempo           26/ 1000
WuDang Sword 89/ 1000
Distance     156.3/1609
Kicks       460/ 50 000
Sparring     0/ 1000
AoK         99/1000
Gratitude  94/1000
Journal      27/355
Piano    5.9 hours/ 80 hours
Reading   3/24 books
Geocaches  4/120 finds

People vs Tasks

This past week was jam packed with appointments.  This stay at home, work from home momma was not in her home at all last week.  The result was not much work was completed - not housework, not client work, not kung fu practice...  I found the week was consumed with planning logistics of all these appointments and how to keep my family moving through it all.

The result of this was I was extremely task oriented this week.  It was all about where we needed to be, what we needed to be doing and at times what was not getting done.  There were kids rushed here and there.  There was a frazzled mom.  There was at least one comment about a mom not having time to listen.  What was the response?  Can't you see all these things I am doing for you!!!  I am doing my best!

After a quieter weekend and some space from the chaos, I've had some time to reflect.  My kids can't see the things I do for them.  I have been doing things for them their whole lives.  They would likely only notice if I stopped.  After all, that is my number one job in life.

Yes, my kids need me to be doing these things for them but they need something more.  They need their mom.  They need me to be able to sit and listen.  They need me to be actually present and not trying to figure out how to move the conversation along so that we can rush to whatever is next.  They need to laugh and cry.  They need to be heard.

I get this...  This is a need we all have.  Then why is it so hard? 

As I was brushing my teeth, thinking this over and trying to plan my blog, a visual hit me...  My brain constantly feels like the navigation system in a vehicle.  Every breath, every move, every decision my brain is re-calibrating...  Can't you just hear that annoying voice now? 

One day for fun Waylon set the maps app on my phone for our home address as we were driving home from his best friends.  Then just to add to that fun, I decided I would do everything I could to drive home using a different path without actually deviating too far out of the way.  With every turn, there was a voice either telling me it was re-calibrating or telling me to make an illegal u-turn...  Definitely words of wisdom to live by or not...

There have been quite a few blogs talking about mindfulness lately.  When I am busy re-calibrating and planning out my next million steps in life, I am not in the moment.  Rarely do I even end up following the million steps I had just planned out.  Why?  Well, I re-calibrated yet again...

What do I need?  Well, it appears it is not the next million steps.  What I actually need is to slow down and really see the people who are right in front of me at that moment.  This is not easy for a task-oriented person.  The drive to get more done and to achieve mastery is often very task-oriented.  This is something that I can more easily identify with personality-wise.  But, what is the point of mastery if my people are not supported by me on my journey.

This week I will do my best to pause with my people - to laugh, to cry, to be present...   While still getting the stuff done...

Numbers as of March 11/18
Push ups      2185/ 50 000
Sit ups         2214/ 50 000
Kempo           21/ 1000
WuDang Sword 63/ 1000
Distance     120.3/1609
Kicks       360/ 50 000
Sparring     0/ 1000
AoK         76/1000
Gratitude  76/1000
Journal      21/355
Piano    4.8 hours/ 80 hours
Reading   2/24 books
Geocaches  4/120 finds

The Reality Model

The past week I read a great little book by Hyrum W. Smith called "You Are What You Believe - Simple Steps to Transform Your Life".  He has spent a large portion of his life and career influencing people all over the world.  Over time he has developed a model of how people make the choices they make.  I will attempt to take what he so eloquently wrote in the book and break it quickly down into a blog post....

The basics of the model are that we all have four basic human needs.  We need to survive.  We need to love and be loved.  We need to feel important (significance).  We need variety.

We all have a belief window.  This is where we put the principles that we live by.  This is where we put our beliefs, assumptions, morals, values.  We place principles onto our belief window because we believe that is how we are going to get our human needs met. We look at the entire world and our lives through this window.

Then based our the view, we make up internal rules.  If this happens, then this...  Often this step happens with absolutely no conscious thought because we are reacting to what is on our belief window.  The next step is we step out in action.  Often again, there is not much conscious thought here.  Then finally, we have our results.  This process often happens absolutely seamlessly without us even knowing it has happened.

The point of the book was to first look at our actions and results.  He challenged the readers to ask what need do we think a particular action is meeting and then the most important question...  Will that action meet our needs long term.

He had the opportunity to go into high schools all over the States.  In one instance, the principal of the school chose to not have Hyrum talk to the entire student body, only 50 of his hardest cases.  The teens that were place in the room with Hyrum were the worst of the worst.  This school was in a severely disadvantaged area.  Many of this teens had already served time.  Many of them were battling addictions. 

The beauty of this model is it allows you to look at hard behaviours in a way that does not personally attack the person.  Hyrum took on the challenge of leading this group of teens through the process where they talked about drugs.  The kids quickly identified the need for variety as the driver behind this behaviour.  He then challenged them to think of role models, for lack of a better way of describing them, that had made similar choices.  The kids were quick to name people like Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, John Belushi.  The kids were excited and feeling very justified in their choice for variety until Hyrum asked the second question.  Where are these people today?  They are all dead.  How did they die?  Drug overdoses.  Did their behaviour meet their needs over time?  Well, it definitely violated the need to survive completely.

Six weeks later, the principal called Hyrum wanting to know what he had done.  10 of the 50 teens in that room that day had completely turned their lives around using this model.

So, you may ask what does this have to do with my journey... 

No, I am not struggling with a drug addiction unless you call chocolate a drug.  Then I may be in trouble.  Yet I still make choices that are definitely not standing up over time.  The IHC program has some tough requirements.  You succeed and fail at this program a little at a time, each day.  It demands discipline.  There is that little voice inside me that says that that is not very fun...  Sometimes that voice is yelling because let's face it, push ups are not fun.

Sifu Brinker has been talking about effortless effort for years.  I understand the concept but the beauty of it can't be found without building the habits and structure in our lives.  I have talked about building habits.  I have started and stopped with habits so many times that I can't remember if I'm starting or stopping anymore but the reality is the same - I fight it because I am seeking variety.  Is it working for me?  Not at all!

This need for variety is just the tip of the iceberg for me.  Underneath that tip is a whole bunch of principles on my belief window that are slowing me down or down right stopping me.  I tell myself that I can't do things.  I tell myself that getting a black belt is totally doable for the next guy but not for me.  I tell myself that I do not have time yet I keep saying yes to everyone who asks me to do something.  That is just to name a few things that are lurking under the surface that this short, little book has been painfully ripping the bandaids off of.

The truth is mastery is built on repetition.  Repetition is hard to maintain.  Why?  It is not exciting and we seek variety.  The question I need to be asking is how can I satisfy the need for variety while building the routines I need to succeed.  Right now I am having so much fun with my sword form that it is almost ridiculous!  It is new.  It is totally different from anything else I have learned.  But...  I also know full well that there will come a time in the year where it will not seem so new and exciting but to strive for mastery, I will need to continue to push through that and keep going.  I will need to rely on some of my personal requirements to pepper life with the spice and variety that I seek while building the base of the routines for the rest.

As for my thinking and self doubt...  That will continue to be a work in progress as I look at my belief window.  It is going to be a near constant battle to replace the beliefs that are so deeply imprinted but surrounding by the support of the community we are building, I will keep on pressing in.

As for right now...  I have not built the routines needed to maintain the numbers I have promised.  Inspite of that fact, I have done more since the Year of the Dog started than I have done prior to the start of the year.  I am building the base to keep moving forward.  Using the Persistence app that Ms. Gibbons suggested has helped me consistently keep track of my numbers and gives me honest feedback on where I am at compared to where I need to be.

Push ups      1825/ 50 000
Sit ups         1704/ 50 000
Kempo           15/ 1000
WuDang Sword 53/ 1000
Distance     83.4/1609
Kicks       210/ 50 000
Sparring     0/ 1000
AoK         53/1000
Gratitude  53/1000
Journal      15/355
Piano    225 min/ 4800 min
Reading   2/24 books

I have a few personal goals that I have not started on but with the busy month of February behind me - I am ready to get on those as well.