I have had to be very conscious about my choices with regards to my weight for my entire adult life. I can look at a chocolate and I can feel parts of my body growing... There are times when I have had amazing successes. I have put in the hard work. I have watched my eating habits. I have had to say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things. Often though after a period of success, I become complacent. One bad choice leads to the next and before I know it, I am back at square one or in some instances, a few more steps even further back from there.
I have had a goal the past 3 years to get down to a goal weight and maintain it. I felt that the IHC would simply give me the structure in order to achieve this. I have had periods of resounding success. I have had periods of serious backsliding. The past six months have been a very serious case of the later.
When it was time to set Year of the Dog goals, Sifu Brinker pushed me to not just set the same old goal but actually set out a real action plan in writing to keep me moving in the right direction. The plan was always in mind but I had not gone far enough to write it down. My hesitation to do so was that I have had the successes and then the relapse periods so many times - I was in many ways afraid to be held accountable. My action plan includes both nutrition goals as well as fitness goals.
This brings me to the beginning of January... The scale is reading a number that I simply believed that I would not see again. I had won that battle. I was beating myself up and that only lead me to go find some chocolate. I know, really not helpful... Then I decided to do something that would be helpful.
I walked into the kwoon and I told Sifu Freitag that I was going to do boot camp. I could not form the sentence that said I wanted to do it. Nothing in me wanted to do it. Really, it sounds like a near death experience that will be witnessed by others. Yet I knew that this is what I needed to do now, not later. Before I could talk myself out of it, I paid and said that I would be there on Saturday.
Saturday came. With fear and trembling I did show up. Sifu Masterson asked us to focus on 3 C's - conditioning, core and combat. All I could think of was S for survival. It was hard. I had moments where I thought I should just crawl back to the changeroom. There were moments where it wasn't just my body that was betraying me but my mind (backward spiderman walking, anyone...). I did do what I had set out to do that day. I showed up and I finished the class.
The next day, oy.... I could hardly get out of bed. It hurt to breathe. I had core muscles around my lungs that I apparently have not taxed in quite some time. Monday's kung fu class was a struggle, but once again, I showed up. By the end of the week I was almost at the point where I felt I could try it again.
Then Saturday came... I had every excuse in my brain going off. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Go!!!! Not even one single little part of me. But I showed up. I survived once again. Today my hip is not happy and I can honestly say that boot camp is a royal pain in my butt - but I will be back.
I want to send out a huge thank you to Sifu Masterson for killing us so sweetly. She really knows how to bring out the best in people. I also want to send out a most heartfelt thank you to all the people who were also crazy enough to sign up. Some of you make it look so easy, some of you not so much but none of you quit. You are all such an encouragement to me and it makes it so much easier to simply keep showing back up.
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