The last two weeks have been amazing! They were exactly what I needed. The first week was too cold to leave the house. It forced us all to press pause and rest. I really needed that rest. The second week we headed off to Calgary. Not much of a pause or rest but lots of time spent enjoying people that I cherish without the distractions of life.
But life is still moving on... This morning I woke up to see that it is indeed January 8th. My wall calendar in the kitchen is still empty. My kids are so excited to see all that white space but it is causing my anxiety. I know that the white space is only an illusion and starting today we are all back to the real world. My mom asked me this week why I feel the need to write down everything on this calendar. I need the visual. Seeing what is going on gives me structure to tackle the rest of life.
My mind is spinning in a million different directions. Today is about catching my breath and restoring some order. I'm sure I will need to ask myself the two questions we talk about all the time at kung fu constantly today... Where am I? What am I doing? I know today I will need to fight to stay present in what I am currently doing. I know that I will need to fight to finish what I start. Often on days like this, I will follow my mind. As it runs here and there, I will follow it. At the end of the day, I am exhausted and unsure of what I was even up to since nothing was finished. This is not the pattern I plan to jump back into this year.
So where to begin? I chose to start right here. Monday's have proven to be the best day for me to consistently blog. I have also found that the best time for me to blog is right after the kids catch the bus. Next will be kung fu class. After that... Well, I will figure it out then, the list of things that need order in my life is unending. I do know that the kitchen calendar is high up on that list though.
As chaotic as my thoughts are right now, it does feel good to be jumping back in.
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