Mental Kung Fu

I have multiple blog posts rolling around inside my head about this past week.  I have been trying to mentally work through it but enough is enough and I need to just sit down and write.  This really could go few ways...


I have not found my groove.  Thanks for the encouraging comments and thank you to those of you who have reached out and asked.  One comment stuck out to me in particular.  It was from Sifu D. Regier and it was about kung fu serving us in all parts of our lives.  What a beautiful reminder that I seem to need over and over again.


My physical requirements have really sat on hold this week.  I have made the conscious choice to do this because I have been using all of my energy reserves to focus on mental and emotional tasks.  I started the week off thinking that I just really need to focus on work and get all my deadlines met and then I could return to kung fu.  Sifu's reminder has helped me reframe and see that even by focusing on my deadlines, I am using my kung fu.


Many of you know that I run my own small bookkeeping business from home.  I have had many of the same clients for nearly 10 years.  They have literally become like family in many cases.  When I sustained my concussion back in August 2015 (that sounds forever ago), I found it very hard to work between staring at a computer screen and long periods of concentration.  I was able to work with my clients to muddle through as the only other choice was to find them someone else.  The doctors kept assuring me that this would just be a minor blip and that I would be good to go in weeks tops.  That has not been the case.


Today I have a much different brain than I had before the accident.  It is deemed fully healed and functional.  Ask Sifu Beckett on her feelings about being deemed good to go, especially when your own definition of all better looks different.  It is very frustrating to say the least.  I am grateful that brains are always growing and changing and I have to opportunity to teach mine some new tricks still.  I am still working on growing the amount of time that I can sustain concentration.  Most days, I can handle about 4 hours of serious head down concentrated work (with lots of breaks).  This week has required much longer periods.  I have been able to double my work times but it has taken a toll.  I am very emotional and struggle to form coherent, full sentences at the end of many days.  This is taking a great deal of discipline (yay!  Kung Fu!).  I have been being very careful to fuel my body properly and hydrate to do what I can to help my brain as well.


Kung fu has given me two gifts that I have used this week.  The first is discipline.  Being a part of the IHC really exercises that muscle and has given me the tools to dig deep this week.  The second part is ownership of my choices.  Every day I have millions of choices and decisions to make.  I get to make them and I get to live with the consequences of each of these choices - good and/or bad.  I could have easily said that I just didn't have time to do my other requirements but that is not taking ownership of the choice, that is playing the victim.  This is my journey and I choose to own it.


Anyways, before this blog takes another detour and ends up really long, I will leave it there for now.  I need to get back to work.  I have one more deadline for the end of the day today.  I am grateful that I can work from home today which means I can perhaps even sneak in some other requirements.

Seeking The Groove

Confession time....


I have lost my groove!


I was in such a good place before we left for holidays.  My numbers were strong.  I was super busy but getting things done.  I knew I had to nail it because I had planned on taking some time off from some of the goals while I focused on my family and enjoying every second with them.  The plan was to jump right back in when we got home and carry on like I had never left.


So what happened?  Life has been happening all over the place.  Chad's constantly changing work schedule, sick kids, kids with injuries, crazy work deadlines, minor fender benders...  It has been a constant stream this past week.  All of the effortless effort has been temporarily lost and it really sucks.


There is beauty in where I am at right now.  I know how it feels to be in the groove so I recognize that I am not.  Really that is one of the first steps to fixing anything.  You need to see the problem before you can set about fixing it.  I have started working with others for accountability and asking for help.  I did some push ups while waiting for my oatmeal to cook.  Now I am writing this blog so it is really out there.  I am choosing to not hide in this not so fantastic place but shine a light on it.  My next step is to get off this computer and get my butt to class this morning.  I have so far managed to hold life off for at least that long.


I will find my groove again.  I will get back on track.  This is one of those times where it is a gift that this is a journey not a destination.

Unplugged & Present

As a society, we are used to having the entire world at our finger tips.  It can be a wonderful thing.  We can communicate with others like never before.  We can access information on just about anything, anywhere and at anytime.  It is expected that we can have this immediate access.


We have all heard the horror stories of people going on holidays only to return to a cell phone bill that rivaled the expense of their entire holiday.  As a family, we decided that this was not an acceptable option.  We talked to our provider and added an additional plan option to my husband's phone in the event that we needed to turn it on.  The other two phones in the family were to remain on airplane mode for the entire trip.


One of the turned off phones was mine.  And it was awesome!


Our holiday was jam packed with places to be, things to do and wonderful family time.  We were up early every morning and fell into our beds at night exhausted. 


On our first day at California Adventure Park we walked what felt like a million miles, rode rides, watched a fantastic play.  It was pure joy to watch my family soak in everything around us.  While I was watching my family, I couldn't help but notice the people around me were not doing the same thing.  They were completely wrapped up in their little screens.  I understand that waiting in line is not the most exciting thing on the planet.  The largest culprits seemed to be the parents of small children.  These kids were wired and in heaven and their parents were so busy ignoring them to even notice.  The joy of all these kids brought joy to my heart as I just soaked in my environment.


This really lead me to question why people have such a hard time putting down their little devices.  Why do we need that constant electronic stimulation?  How much of the real world are we missing out on because our focus is elsewhere?  How do I want to chose to live once I get home?  What do I want my priorities to be - the people right in front of me or my Facebook feed?


I came home from my holiday feeling very connected to my family.  I want that feeling to remain.  I am thinking through different boundaries to place on my own screen time to make sure that my people know that I value them more than what is coming up on my little device. 


I want to live in the world right in front of me and not miss a single moment.

Flying the Coop

The Cock-A-Doodle-Do has sounded and we are now officially a week into the Year of the Rooster. 


This is my third year on the team.  The first year, I must admit, I was terrified about what I had gotten myself into.  I decided to take the approach that the goal numbers were merely suggestions that I was working towards.  I really had very little belief that it was even a possibility.  Despite a few severe injuries, I learned that I was capable and that it was possible.  The second year, I went in injured and on medical restrictions that made for a slow start.  The year was a definite roller coaster ride but I learned a lot about myself in the process.  Neither year did I meet my goals.


This year is different.  I am healthy.  I know that I can do this.  I am determined.  I have had a solid first week.  My numbers, in most cases, are right where they need to be.  I have not dug any holes for myself to dig out of.  This year I needed to have a strong start, to hit the road running.  I had a little extra incentive to get that first week done right.


In less than 24 hours I am boarding a plane for California!!!!!  And I'm super excited about that sitting here looking out into that deep freeze we call the outdoors.


I worked hard last week so that I could release myself for the next 10 days to focus on having a blast with my family.  I can guarantee you that I will be getting in the kms.  We will be doing a ton of walking.  As for the rest of the requirements, I am making no promises.  (That is except for my weapons form, which will not be happening.  I have been advised to not take my nunchuks with me to the States for some reason...)  Georgia has been given the homework to do push ups with Mickey so we will have to see if he will accommodate that.  I will fit in what I can and will work really hard when I get home to pick up the slack.  Thankfully it is early in the year.


Unless I see you today at the kwoon, I will see you on the 16th at class!