Reflecting

Earlier this week the whole theme of reflecting was fresh on my mind.  It all really started with the demo on Saturday.  A year ago I was at the demo but I was sitting in the audience.  It was not that I wasn't on the team.  It was not that I didn't want to be in the demo.  It was that I was medically not allowed to perform.  I had been benched due to my concussion.  I went back and read my blogs from a year ago.  I was in a tough, hard place.  I have had so much growth in some areas, and not nearly as much growth in other areas as I would like.  I can now see this because I documented my journey.  I had an entire blog written in my head on this but then Tuesday hit and although the blog in my mind was no longer what I needed to write this week, the theme of reflecting stuck.

This has been a challenging year.  My struggles with my physical and mental health have been a large part of my year.  I have also had to deal with some other challenges.  In March, I lost a much loved friend to cancer.  Fresh on that loss, a much loved family member received their own devastating news.  Yes, cancer had struck again and this time there was nothing the doctors could do.

On Tuesday afternoon, my husband's uncle lost his battle with cancer.  Now many would think that an uncle is somewhat removed, not like immediate family.  Not many people are not very close with their uncles, especially those adopted through marriage.  It was different with Uncle Gordon.  You see, my husband lost his own father to cancer when he was very young.  Uncle stepped up to the plate and became a surrogate father.  Chad has amazing memories of camping and fishing and spending time with his uncle.  He was always there at the drop of a hat for us, just like a parent.  When it was time for them to build their retirement home out at Alberta Beach, we ended up buying their acreage - just to keep it in the family.  Everywhere we look we see his hand and love in our lives.

So as I reflect on the example that Uncle left, I honestly can only think of positive memories.  He was an amazing man, father, grandfather, uncle.  What really sticks out to me is that he never seemed to be in a hurry.  He was a regular in our kitchen, stopping in to see if we needed help with anything or just for a cup of coffee.  His life was lived with people as his focus.  He was a rock and anchor for Chad when he lost his father.  He was a rock an anchor to me when Chad was working out of town.  I have memories of spending days crawling around on the floor of our new shop zip tying tubing down to rebar for the in floor heat.  I have memories of him trying to teach me the ins and outs of the boiler system we have in our house (I am not a quick student).  Most of all I have memories of him sitting at our kitchen table regularly with a cup of coffee and a huge smile - always happy, never hurried.  I know that it brought him joy to see us raising our kids in the home he had built.

Loss has a way of making us reflect.  I want my life to be filled with the qualities that we were so blessed to see in Uncle.