Turning The Page...

I like fresh starts.  I like new beginnings.  I like clean slates.  I like to turn the page to a new month.  It is all clean with nothing written on it.  The possibilities seem endless.


Then I get out my pens.  Every person in the house has their own colour.  I go through and carefully mark down all of the appointments and commitments that I have been collecting in my phone.  Yes, I know I have a calendar in my phone but seeing it on the monthly calendar gives me a better visual about what is really going on.  Suddenly my nice clean, clear calendar looks a whole lot more full and busy.


Today I am not feeling the freshness of a new start.  I am feeling the chaos of life instead. 


First of all - HOW DID IT GET TO BE JUNE!!!!!  Really, where did the last five months go?  I remember being a kid and it seemed like eternity from Christmas to school getting out.  Now as an adult, I blinked and here it is.


Secondly, June is always filled with a lot of activity.  There are the appointments that you can squeeze in before the summer so that they don't interfere with summer fun.  There are extras as activities wrap up and school ends.  There are fun things to do every weekend. 


Thirdly, there is work.  I try to get as much done as possible before the kids get done school.  Most years I have been able to take July off almost completely.  That is not looking possible this year.  That is ok.  I have taken on some additional commitments but there is still far too much to be done.


Finally, at least for this blog post, is where I am at with my goals.  I have been plodding along on many of them.  My numbers have reached a place where they are not fabulous but they are ok.  I'm keeping a forward momentum but I am not gaining any real ground.  At the last meeting we were encouraged to look at our goals.  Now I do this often.  I have them printed out at the front of my IHC binder that I use to journal and track everything.  It is one thing to take a peak and remind yourself that they exist.  This week I looked at them.  I mean really looked at them.  I ask myself honestly where I was at.  In many cases, I did not like the answers.


Where does that leave me?  I have a colourful, full calendar and many things that are not even written on it but need doing.  I have been trying hard to focus on being present and not rushing around like a crazy chicken with my head chopped off.  These two situations seem to really be at odds with one another.  I think the much discussed questions of "Where am I and what am I doing?" will need to become a habit this month.  So with a deep breath, I am off to the races but not in a rush...