Discipline, Willpower and Habits

Discipline - when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one's desires.


Willpower - a combination of determination and self-discipline that enables someone to do something despite the difficulties involved.


Habit - a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.


I am currently reading a book called The ONE Thing - The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller.  The chapters I've been reading the last few days deal with the lies we tell ourselves and the impact that they have on our ability to succeed.


This seems like an especially relevant topic after listening to the recording of the last meeting.  Based on what I could tell, a high number of the team is struggling with their numbers - I am one of those people.  As part of the IHC we all have very defined goals that can easily be measured.  We all have the ability to succeed or not at these goals over the year.  That is truth.


As I struggle, I personally tell myself that I need to have more self-discipline.  I don't particularly like working on some of my requirements (yes, push ups really aren't a fan favourite).  That is irrelevant though.  I have agreed to do everything in my power to reach 50,000 in a year and that takes daily progress if I'm going to have any hope in reaching that goal.


Then you look at the definition of willpower - so interlinked with discipline.  Willpower is amazing when it is firing on all cylinders, but the reality is that this is not how life works.  Willpower ebbs and flows - sometimes it is there and sometimes it can't be found anywhere in this universe.


So we sit down and look at our goals.  We know we need to correct the path we are on.  We determine how we are going to go after that.  We use discipline to chase these goals until that passion that fired this change dwindles (willpower).  Then we are back where we started.  Round and round we go.


This book addresses this vicious cycle.  Yes, to make a change we will need discipline and we will be greatly aided by willpower but not to the level that we believe we do.  The author emphasizes that we need to use our willpower and self-discipline with the focus of building good habits.  Success is not built by doing everything right all of the time - this is really an unobtainable situation.  Success is built by doing the right thing.  If we work to build these habits that are hard to give up, then reaching our goals is not going to be the same issue.  Now the caveat he gives is that these habits need to be built one at a time.  We can't go from zero to sixty and rebuild habits in every part of our lives all at once.  We not posses the discipline that would take and our willpower can't sustain it long term.


I personally have not built many habits over the past couple years.  I do log my numbers most nights, that is until I forget for a week and then need to reboot.  That really is the story on many fronts.  I find that Monday, I start firing on all fronts and then by Friday - nothing.  Then I tally up the week's numbers and Monday I nail it again.  Round and round.  Not ever fully off but not ever fully on long enough to build a true habit.  My numbers are growing each week but not at a pace that will meet my goals.


It is time for me to really look at my goals and start to build some real consistent habits!

Vacation, Lessons & Perspective

Last week we were on vacation.  The first day was pretty nuts.  Forgot the life jackets so had to come back home to get them.  Way had an allergic reaction to something and ended up with a late night trip to Rocky.  Then we settled in.  The next three days were pure bliss.  We hung out as a family.  We played crib, UNO and I have to say some very interesting games of Trouble where we embraced the spirit of the game.  We sat by the fire.  We walked and walked and walked.  We went out on the boat.  Chad took the kids for a full day.  They fished and then drove into the bush to do some target practice with the .22.  I walked Guiness and read. 


I love camping.  I love the total change of pace.  I find so much peace in just being away.  Did I mention, I love camping!!!  I had planned to write a whole blog on that and trying to figure out how to live in my crazy world while feeling just like I do when I am gone.


Then Monday hit along with a very unexpected typhoon.  We had no idea about the forecast when we went to bed on Sunday night.  Packing up our campsite was horrible.  The drive home was unsettling.  Unpacking the trailer in the pouring rain and trying to find ways to dry out everything was enough to completely undo all of the peace that I had found in the previous three days.  I was a cold and grumpy camper and my whole family knew it. 


Utterly disappointed with how quickly the glow of vacation had faded, I woke up Tuesday with a serious funk fueled by anxiety.  Thankfully I also had an appointment with my neuropsychologist that day as continued follow up from my concussion.  I took my anxiety and disappointment with me.  She imparted some wisdom that goes along with a constant theme in IHC conversations - being completely present and mindful.


Her lesson was in about changing my perspective.  Vacation is fantastic.  The peace and joy are fantastic.  When I am blessed with these moments, I am to fully recognize and appreciate them.  I can't always live on vacation.  If I actually succeeded in always being on vacation, it would eventually lose it's sparkle and shine.  I am to be thankful for the recharge and then accept that life is life and it is much crazier when I am not hiding out in the bush.  By being mindful of where I am and what I am doing I can find that joy in my day through accepting life as it comes.  I was moving through my mess but my mind was not present, it was still trying to hold onto vacation mode.  These two things do not work together very well and as a result I was grumpy and resentful.  Not a pretty picture.


Since that appointment, I have still struggled with letting go, accepting life as it comes and being mindful but it is a something that I am working towards. 

Making Some Changes

Change can be hard...  Change can be scary...  Change can be hard to maintain...  Change can end up being down right disappointing...


That is why I am hesitant to blog on this topic, yet one of the things we all promised was to live out our year publicly.  So here it goes...


For the past two years I have had the goal to get down to a healthier weight - one recommended by my doctor.  I would love to say that he is being completely unreasonable when he chose the number he gave me but that would not be true.  Not only is it reasonable, it really is obtainable but only with a ton of hard work.


I started off my weight loss journey last year strong.  Even blowing out my ACL did not slow me down much.  The specialist was actually shocked when I told her that I had not gained any weight during my recovery from my failed flying kick.  Then the accident happened...  Even in all that was going on, I managed to maintain the weight loss that I had achieved earlier in the year.  That is until the neuropsychologist put my flat on the couch for the better part of six weeks and the emotional lows set in.  Every ounce of progress was lost (or I guess gained is a better word in this instance).


I found this hard.  I found it hard to get face the truth.  I found it hard to find the motivation to do much about it.  I found it hard to say no to all the wrong foods.  Then at just the right moment, a sweet friend from Texas popped me a message.  It truly is all about timing sometimes...  She was trying to pull together a group of people who wanted to make positive changes in their lifestyles and lose weight in the process.  Yes!!!  Pick me!!!


With fear and trembling, I agreed to do it.  She was using the 21 Day Fix through Beach Body.  The package showed up the first week of August even though the official start date as not until the 8th.  The first few times I tried the exercise videos - they were so hard.  I could hardly walk for days leading into bootcamp.  The eating plan also looked tough.  I had to give up many of my fav foods or find healthier (not quite as yummy) alternatives.  Also, did I mention that I am a serious creature of habit.  I have eaten pretty much the same thing for breakfast for so many years it is a standing joke around here.  That needed to change...


As the start date approached, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.  Then bootcamp hit.  The seminars on nutrition and home fitness tied perfectly into the changes I was about to embark on.  It was almost like they knew...  Yet, I was afraid to say too much in case I wasn't able to follow through.  Change is hard...  Change is scary...


So now I am a full week in!  This change has not been as hard or as scary as I had anticipated.  I have had some not so fabulous breakfast moments trying to figure out the best fruit mix to use to naturally sweeten my oatmeal.  My kids have both wrinkled their noses up and question how anyone can give up processed sugar.  The eating plan really is just that - cut out the junk food (bad fats and sugar), eat a boatload of veg & fruit, learn what a proper portion actually looks like and have those starchy carbs done by the end of lunchtime.  The videos are still hard but they are getting easier each day.  I feel great and I have more energy than I have had in a long time.  And the bonus - my scale is starting to not tip quite so far. 


I still have a long way to go but I have a plan that is working.

I More Than Survived....

First of all I want to extend a HUGE thank you to everyone who was involved with yesterday's boot camp - for the organizers, the instructors and the participants!  What an awesome day!


So, yesterday was my first boot camp.  Honestly, I was terrified to go.  I kept hearing how awesome they always are but in my mind I couldn't get past the 14 hours ending with the black belt fitness test.


When I joined the IHC team originally, I told Sifu Brinker that I was done with living afraid.  I was done living telling myself that I couldn't do something simply because I thought it was impossible.  I have spent so much time living within self imposed limitations.  Boot camp definitely fell within those limitations as a no go zone. 


This year, with much fear and trembling, I signed up despite how I was feeling.  I did my best to not think about what I had gotten myself into leading up to the event.  That is until I hit the pillow Friday night and that was all I could think about...  The alarm went off ridiculously early and off Way & I went - both severely lacking sleep and a bundle of nerves.  My goal at this point was to just survive.


The day was fantastic.  The people were amazing.  The seminars were packed with new things to work on.  Then the fitness test hit.  Let's face it, we all want to go in and totally smoke it out of the park.  There were some participants who totally rocked the test.  Seeing their success and determination were so inspiring.  I, on the other hand, struggled big time with nearly every single part of the test.  Honestly, by the time we hit the 2 km run at the end I was feeling extremely discouraged.


I started off that run feeling like I had less than nothing in the tank.  After 13.5 hours of kung fu, perhaps that is an understatement...  I was not able to run much of it.  I just did not have the energy to ensure that I was properly engaging all of my muscles in my legs to keep my weaker knee safe.  I had a choice to make.  I knew that I could never walk it in the acceptable time limit but I chose to not quit.


While I was out walking at the back of the pack I reflected on where I was and what I was doing.  I thought about the last year and it nearly brought me to tears.  The last year has been brutal.  First the ACL on my knee and then the car accident.  For 2 months this winter, I was supposed to lay flat on the couch with my eyes closed.  By February I was allowed to move but I had to keep my heart rate under 120 or all of my concussion symptoms hit full force.  Slowly I was able to push that up so that by April, I no longer had any restrictions.  It has been a long hard process trying to work myself back towards any semblance of shape.


Yesterday, when I thought about it, was a total win.  I tried everything that was thrown my way.  I did not quit.  I had my heart rate up as far as 158.  I spent 30 minutes in the peak zone.  I spent 4.5 hours in the cardio zone.  I spent nearly 12 hours in the fat burning zone.  I burned over 5000 calories according to my Fitbit.  I had no symptoms!!!!!  To think of where I was just a short time ago and what I managed to do was very emotional.  I am not where I want to be but I am working on that.


That said, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has been with me through this past year.  It has been quite the ride.  Thank you to everyone who was there at the finish line last night cheering me on.  I more than survived!