"At the last meeting, Sifu Brinker encouraged each of us to document our starting point for a variety of reasons. First of all, so that we can see our growth as the year goes on. The second reason seemed even more significant... So that we have a reminder and encouragement for ourselves when the going gets tough. We were ensured that there will be times when the going is going to be tough and it is how we handle this challenge that will shape our year."
This was the first paragraph of my blog just days before the Year of the Sheep started. I had absolutely no idea just how true each every one of these words would be. It is time to reflect and look back. I went into this year with goals and expectations, hope and dreams, doubts and fear. What a crazy mixture!
The banquet was inspiring. The first couple weeks I was starting to ease into a routine that included more push-ups than I ever dreamed I would do. I was a girl with a plan and I was working the plan. Then exactly two weeks into this journey on March 4th something happened that I never ever considered. I was in the middle of the most epic flying kick. I was seriously flying. I remember hoping that someone had actually seen it. The next thing I knew I was crumpled on the ground. My landing gear had failed. The result was a full tear of my ACL in my left knee.
Early on the going got tough and I dug deep. I worked hard with my physiotherapist. I trained hard but smart. My knee healed amazing fast and with more stability that I could have ever dreamed of considering the injury. The doctors are crediting the development of just the right amount of scar tissue in just the right places. To me it didn't really matter much, all I knew was that by summer I was back on track. This huge injury had only really been a blip on my radar screen for the year. This injury gave me a hunger to get back on the mats and it gave me the confidence that I could overcome.
Everything was running fantastic! Too good to be true really! Then August 8th hit, along with a truck that failed to stop. Coming off the knee injury, I felt strong and confident that this would be yet another minor blip. My body healed quickly but my brain did not. The concussion that I received that day is still affecting every single area of my life. I am working with a great team medical professionals. Each day is a battle of pushing and resting but I am seeing progress. We are headed in the right direction.
When I read the words from my blog at the beginning of the year, it brings me to tears. I expected challenges this year. I had no idea the challenges that would be my reality. They were so different and so much bigger than I could have ever imagined. They have shaped my year along with how I have chosen to handle them. It has been a fight to stay positive. I am so grateful for my family and my Silent River family. The support that each person has shown me through this year has been amazing. Your encouragement has kept me going.
This year I did not rack up 50,000 of anything. I do not have huge numbers to show. I am not in the best shape of my life. I am not even in better shape than I was a year ago. What I have to take away from this year is so much more than any single accomplishment. At this start of the year I was feeling the weight of doubt and a serious lack of self confidence. This year I have found a new inner strength that I will be able to take with me through my entire life. I have found a fight and a determination (some would say stubbornness). I have found a love for kung fu, one that can only be fully realized once you have spent as much time as I have watching from the sidelines aching to get on the mats. These are deeper lessons that will serve me in every part of my life for the rest of my life.
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