The Last Week of August - Really?!?

There have been a few blogs that asked the question...

Where did summer go?????

I have no idea.  I feel like I blinked at some point in June and here we are today.  The days have virtually evaporated into thin air.  How? 

I have been reflecting on this the past few days while we have been away camping.  How did I miss summer this year?  The answer is simple.  I was not present.

Back in June we made the decision to bring our daughter home this next year for grade seven.  In a breath I went from being a mom to also being a grade seven teacher in the fall.  This is a task that I definitely did not feel equipped for.  So what does one do?  Well, they do what they can to get equipped.  I signed out and requested every book the library had on homeschooling.  I read website after website.  I listened to podcasts.  I immersed myself in learning.

The result is a mixed bag.  I definitely feel more equipped than I did in June.  I feel about as prepared as I can be at this stage of the game as an outsider still looking in.  I still feel more than a little overwhelmed by the responsibility that I have bitten off.  The biggest downside by far though is how it has impacted the past two months.  I may be ready(ish) for September but I missed July and August.  What?!?

I have one week of summer left.  It is time to get present - now!  I don't want to miss anymore time.  Then next week it will be time to get started.  In the words of my girl - "Buckle up Mom!  Things are getting real!"

Tornado Brain

Tornado - a violent rotating column of air

So... Substitute air for thoughts and that is where my brain seems to have been for much of the summer. 

I am struggling.  My brain is full and busy and spinning and overwhelmed.  Thoughts pop in and out at an astounding speed.  The popping in is a bit of an issue.  The popping out is seeming to be a huge issue.  I seem to be unable to hold onto my thoughts long enough to remember what I was doing, what I was going to do and what I need to do.  I am finding that I am writing myself little notes all over the place just trying to capture it all.

The result is that my life feels like it is in turmoil.  I feel like things are falling through the cracks.  I know that many of my requirements are falling through the cracks.  It is not that I don't want to do my requirements.  I am finding that I am getting to the end of the day and it just has not happened.  I'm not sure where the day has gone.  I spend my days busy.  I am doing things that need doing.  I can see progress in many areas of life yet  I just feel like I can't get any real traction.

The one requirement that I know will be the most helpful in this situation is also the one requirement that I am finding the absolute hardest to do right now.  Yup, journalling...  I have been relatively faithfully writing in a journal daily since I started the IHC.  It is a place to sort out  my thoughts and process life.  Lately I look at my book and I struggle to even open it.  When I do get it open, I just stare at it.  I am finding it hard to quiet my brain long enough to form a coherent thought to then get it written on the page. 

I have also struggled to blog.  It's not that I don't have things to blog about.  I have thoughts all the time about what I should sit down and blog about.  It's just that when I sit down to do the actually work, my brain spins.  It feels like that little spinning icon that you see when the internet is looking for a webpage that just is not responding.  It spins and spins.  Then the message that it is unable to find the content it was looking for.