What's The Rush????

Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day.  You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.

-Dallas Willard

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.

-Mahatma Gandhi

At the start of our year working towards mastery, we made a list of goals.  These goals are commitments that we thought through carefully.  They were actions that we personally believed would lead us closer to mastery as we travelled through our year.


So what does this lovely list of goals have to do with hurry.  I'm guessing that each one of us started this year off with a very full and busy life.  Then we add in this new list.  My list of things that I wanted to do, needed to do just keeps growing.  So what is our first human response.  We try to do more, faster, more efficiently...  It's always more, more, more...  Not only are we rushing around like crazy chickens with our heads cut off, we are dragging everyone else along with us.  Faster, more, chaos....


So here I am knee deep in my quest to get it all done.  One of my favourite things to do is read.  It is my go to place when I have a moment of quiet.  Even here though, I have lists of books to read.  I always have several books on the go.  This past week I read each of these quotes.  Ironically, they were in two separate books.  The fact that this message came up twice within the span of 24 hours was not lost on me.  The fact that both of these quotes hit me to my core was not lost on me.  The fact that I need these reminders in front of my face CONSTANTLY was not lost on me.


The past few days I have tried to slow down.  I have tried to take moments to notice life, to feed my spirit.  I have tried to be more present instead of rushing to do five more things in 30 seconds before I run out the door.  By slowing down, I have noticed opportunities that likely would have gone unnoticed in my past frenzy.  Simple things like a walk with my son, slowly and gently brushing my daughter's hair, a game of UNO with the family before bed, more hugs, more kisses...


I have tried to keep these thoughts in front of me as I have travelled through this week.  The internal struggle has been very real.  The fact that I am writing this blog post on Friday instead of Tuesday has been part of this internal conversation.  Life has been busy.  I have been on the run.  I have had opportunities where I could have thrown together a quick blog.  I have had multiple opportunities where I could have worked on this post in bits and pieces.  BUT...  I chose to slow down and not fill every second to overflowing.  I needed time to try to piece together this post in a way that is meaningful to me, to process the thoughts.  I wanted this opportunity to feed my spirit and not just be an item checked off my list.  Blog done.  Check.


This week has been all about trying to slow down.  I have challenged myself to look at the true meaning behind what I am doing and being present while I do things instead of fifty steps ahead.  I am finding this very hard.  My mind is a busy, messy place.  For today, I am trying to slow down, to embrace my messy mind and look out at the world around me and soak it in.

Doing or Being - Choosing To Be...

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.  When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.

-Thich  Nhat Hanh

Life is busy.  Life is hectic.  We all have our plans and our goals and things that need to be done.  We write out to do lists.  We track our accomplishments.  We are always so busy doing.  Is that really what is most important though...  Are we human doings or are we human beings. (I can't take credit for that sentence.  I have heard it used somewhere, just no idea where right now.)


This past week has provided me with many opportunities to choose between being and doing.  This week I attempted to be mindful to embrace people instead of accomplishments. 


Thursday night I was so tired after class but was provided with the opportunity to have a cup of tea and a chat with one of my favourite peeps.


Friday night was date night with my precious girl.  We shopped, ate supper and then were blessed to watch some of the best figure skaters this world has to offer (and most of them are homegrown).  It was so much fun to share one of my greatest passions growing up with my little lady.  Definitely a night to remember.


Saturday was filled with family.  My parents and cutie patootie nephew came from Calgary to enjoy Pandamonium with us for the second year in a row.  Add to that the chance to spend time in the sunshine living and laughing with my kung fu family...  Awesome day.


Sunday I was tired, done, wanted to stay home and hide....  Two sets of eyes greeted me that morning, one blue and one brown.  Instead off to church we went and stayed for potluck afterwards.  So blessed to have such a wonderful church family.


In each of these cases I had to chose to mindfully give myself to others.  Sometimes it was easy.  Other times there was definitely an internal struggle.  Saturday was the most challenging struggle.  I had looked forward all week to getting some serious numbers in.  Sifu Beckett was alone on the mats.  I really needed help with my Tai He.  Then I looked out the window and saw my parents standing alone in the parking lot.  Numbers or people...  Doing or being...


Every time I chose to nurture a relationship it turned out to be a precious gift to myself.  My hope was that it was a precious gift to those that I was with as well.

Growing in Empathy

Empathy - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

One of the qualities that I really appreciate about SRKF is the focus on empathy.  I have had many people look at me sideways (especially family) when I try to explain that we are involved with kung fu.  They just can't seem to reconcile how I would send my sweet babies somewhere where they teach fighting.  They seem unable to reconcile that I would attend a place that promotes punching and kicking.  I try to explain that it is not like that but many times it falls on ears that are ready to hear.


I personally believe that empathy is one of the greatest qualities a person can have.  It is a quality that I have spent my life trying to grasp.  I remember when we were at my bridal shower many moons ago they played a game.  They had privately interviewed Chad.  Then I, along with the other guests had to try to guess what his answers were.  His answers surprised me which is why I still remember then.  He said one of his favourite qualities about me was my heart for others.  One of his greatest fears was that I would give away absolutely everything one day to someone in need.


My heart bleeds for others.  Yet, I still have so much to learn.  I can hear a story and impacts me greatly - my heart will rejoice or break depending on the story.  I carry the story with me.  Then I get stuck...


This relates back to my post last week about feeling small.  I have so much in my heart yet I still need to grow in true empathy.  I need to reach past my pure emotion and do the hard work of seeking to truly understand so that I can make a real difference.  Right now there is so much hurt in my immediate surroundings.  There are people who are displaced because of the fires.  A close family member received a terminal cancer diagnosis.  An acquaintance received a medical diagnosis that seems pretty hopeless.  That is just this week's hurts.  My heart feels like it can't take much more and honestly it wants to shut the world off to hide.  I have to opportunity to make a real difference in someone's life but I must not hide or shutdown.


This is what Pandamonium is really all about.  We are to seek out and learn what our charities really do and who they really help.  We are to seek understanding and then take that final step to truly helping.  It seeks to teach us not only empathy but what to do with that empathy.  That is a lesson that I am still working to learn.


As for Chad's fear of me giving everything away - it has not happened YET...

Feeling Small...

Yesterday was my blog day.  I struggled all day with writing a blog.  It turned out to much more of a lament than anything.  I didn't end up publishing it because I couldn't seem to find the words to convey my heart.  It started out like this...


Some days I question my ability to have a true impact on the world.  The world is so big.  There are so many issues.  I am just one person.  For every small act that I attempt, there are millions more that need doing in this world.  If you really think about the hugeness of the issues and our world and the smallness of who we are, it can be very overwhelming.


Pandamonium is upon us!  The chatter at the kwoon about the charities has really picked up over the past week or so.  Great charities doing great work all over the world.  The conversations and the growth opportunities are fantastic to watch and be a part of.


In my own life, I try to give - especially my time whenever I can.  I try to raise my kids to see the needs in the world and try to figure out how or what they can do to make a difference.  Really my kids are awesome!  They volunteer and serve others.  They forgo gifts so that others may receive.  They can't remember a birthday party where the gift giving focus has been on themselves.  Their hearts bleed for others.  They inspire me.


Then we start to take our passions outside the kwoon, and that's when the going gets tough.  We knock on doors and we get that "you again" look.  We try to chat up family about the charities and they just want to know who to write the cheque to.  The apathy in the world is staggering.




The apathy makes my passion seem small yet we have to keep doing what we can for those who cannot do for themselves.  Honestly, I find this time of year very discouraging.  The people in our kung fu family are so amazing and filled with empathy that it really highlights the difference from many out in the rest of the world.


I do feel small.  I wonder how much impact I can have on the world. 


That was the majority of my lament.  I just couldn't figure out how to finish it off.  Then the events in Fort Mac hit last night.  I watched the footage with my husband of the fires out of control right in town.  Fires that were cutting off the only road in and out of a remote community.  A community under full evacuation orders but in many cases no way to head south.  Many had to head north cut off from everyone by one highway.  Chad has spent a great deal of time working up there.  We have friends who continue to work up there.  This situation is very personal.


Today I sit here with a different perspective, funny what a difference a day makes.  I am waiting for our first evacuated house guest to arrive.  I watch the response of the people in Alberta to this situation.  Everyone is scrambling to find something, anything that they can do.  People do NOT lack empathy - they just need a spark to light under them.


I do still feel small.  Today though I realize that we are all small but if enough of us small people care enough about something, then huge things can happen.  That makes me think of the Lorax, so I will leave you with a famous Dr. Suess quote:

UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not.